Thread by @GbengaWemimo

The moment he walked into my office, I realized the genesis of his marital problem.
It was neither him nor his wife
It was due to gross misconception
His wife grew up in a very strict Christian home
She was one of those girls that Daddy was determined would walk in the way of the

Lord by hook or crook
The conditioning of her father had triggered a rebellious streak in her
She had promised herself that as soon as she could leave the house she would do so without looking back
She wanted to be free
She wanted to live on her own terms
Her father sent her to

the University
She waited for that knight in shinning armor to come for her
The knight did not show up on time
She had to go back home after she graduated
As usual her father was already making another plan for her life
Everybody said it was love but she didn’t want to be loved

that way
Her father was a narcissist
A master controller and manipulator of reality in the name of religion
They were allowed to watch only Christian movies for two hours daily while growing up
Their mother had no say in the house
Their father was rich and commanded absolute

Respect from kin and kindred
Unfortunately, her father had only daughters
Four of them
He acted as if he was a prison warden and they were the inmates
She and her sisters were out I church and made to do everything required by the church in a bid at indoctrinating them but they

hated it
The way their mother was always shaking and shivering whenever their father sneezed
The way they were compelled to live by his whims at all times
She felt it was denigrating
When she finished her NYSC, her father got her a job at a textile company
That was when she met

Him
The prince in shinny armor
He was the kind of guy she had always prayed for
He was easy to manipulate and she was far above his station in life
She was the daughter of a rich business tycoon and pastor
He was the son of an ex police sergeant
They met on facebook
He invited

Her to his house
She lied to her father that she was going for a job interview
She went to his house
He knew she was a gem, a high class babe and he treated her as such
He did everything she commanded him to do without raising any eye brow
After meeting him for third time, she

realized the relationship was beginning to feel like friendship, so she offered him sex and that sealed his fate
He didn’t believe that she could allow him in so easily but she didn’t do it for him
She did it to get back at her father, to throw her own pebble in Goliath’s face

Often time when she was with him, her father would call and she would lie that she was out looking for a job or meeting with some big shot
He always saw her lies as evidence that she loved him and wanted to be with him
He knew her father would never allow her be with him
She knew

It too.
He was from a broken home
He was practically raised by his grandmother
His father would raise hell
She prepared him for it the night she asked him to marry her
She told him it would be tough but she would ensure that they ended up together
He was so grateful for her love

And dedication
She took him home when she turned 27
Her father almost collapsed
Where did you meet him?
Her father didn’t know they had been having sex for months and she was even pregnant for him
Her father said No
She said yes
She got family members involved
She had her way

As soon as she got married, her husband wanted to start acting like a husband
She didn’t like that
She didn’t want that
That was how her father was behaving since she was a young girl
She began to cheat on him
Not for love
For freedom
She wanted to be free of the tyranny of men

Her husband found out she was cheating, it became a big issue
She hadn’t considered the consequences and how it would look
She just wanted to be with a guy who will let her be herself and not be “husband like”
She didn’t want to cook for anybody and they couldn’t afford a cook!

She was earning way more than him and she wanted to keep her money so that she can enjoy her freedom
She saw how her father’s money kept her mother in line and didn’t want that for herself
Eventually she ran away with her lover
Her husband didn’t know what he did wrong...

He wanted to know what was expected of him in such a situation
The marriage was just three years old and they have one daughter
His wife had abandoned everything in her search for freedom
He didn’t see it that way
He saw a cheating wife and an irresponsible mother
I told him his

Wife was not a cheat
She married him at 25 and in defiance to her father for a reason
She wanted to be free of roles and duties
She wanted to live her life on her own terms
We sat down and composed an email to his wife (She had blocked him on all his other lines but he could stil

reach out to her via mail.
In the mail, we wrote exactly what we believe would help her understand that her husband got the message
We apologized and promised to let her be herself
No cooking or Churching
Just come home and be wife
The rest shall be taken care of by wisdom...

Her husband cried while sending the mail
He said he wanted her back
He will forgive without holding back
I promised him the letter will work
(I am not boasting but I am quite good at writing, you can ask @CokerWemimo how she got to say Yes after one text message)
The human heart

Is an open book to the Holy Spirit
Jesus knew man and he needed no to be told anything about man and so do I through the Holy Spirt.
The mail went out on a Monday, in the mail my phone number was listed as a marriage counselor. She called me on Wednesday morning. We talked and

Met. Three weeks later she was reconciled to her husband and child.
The marriage is eight years old today
They have three more babies and are happy together

Marriage is sometimes deeper than boy meets girl!

The End

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