The moment he walked into my office, I realized the genesis of his marital problem.
It was neither him nor his wife
It was due to gross misconception
His wife grew up in a very strict Christian home
She was one of those girls that Daddy was determined would walk in the way of the
Lord by hook or crook
The conditioning of her father had triggered a rebellious streak in her
She had promised herself that as soon as she could leave the house she would do so without looking back
She wanted to be free
She wanted to live on her own terms
Her father sent her to
the University
She waited for that knight in shinning armor to come for her
The knight did not show up on time
She had to go back home after she graduated
As usual her father was already making another plan for her life
Everybody said it was love but she didn’t want to be loved
that way
Her father was a narcissist
A master controller and manipulator of reality in the name of religion
They were allowed to watch only Christian movies for two hours daily while growing up
Their mother had no say in the house
Their father was rich and commanded absolute
Respect from kin and kindred
Unfortunately, her father had only daughters
Four of them
He acted as if he was a prison warden and they were the inmates
She and her sisters were out I church and made to do everything required by the church in a bid at indoctrinating them but they
hated it
The way their mother was always shaking and shivering whenever their father sneezed
The way they were compelled to live by his whims at all times
She felt it was denigrating
When she finished her NYSC, her father got her a job at a textile company
That was when she met
The prince in shinny armor
He was the kind of guy she had always prayed for
He was easy to manipulate and she was far above his station in life
She was the daughter of a rich business tycoon and pastor
He was the son of an ex police sergeant
They met on facebook
He invited
Her to his house
She lied to her father that she was going for a job interview
She went to his house
He knew she was a gem, a high class babe and he treated her as such
He did everything she commanded him to do without raising any eye brow
After meeting him for third time, she
realized the relationship was beginning to feel like friendship, so she offered him sex and that sealed his fate
He didn’t believe that she could allow him in so easily but she didn’t do it for him
She did it to get back at her father, to throw her own pebble in Goliath’s face
Often time when she was with him, her father would call and she would lie that she was out looking for a job or meeting with some big shot
He always saw her lies as evidence that she loved him and wanted to be with him
He knew her father would never allow her be with him
She knew
It too.
He was from a broken home
He was practically raised by his grandmother
His father would raise hell
She prepared him for it the night she asked him to marry her
She told him it would be tough but she would ensure that they ended up together
He was so grateful for her love
And dedication
She took him home when she turned 27
Her father almost collapsed
Where did you meet him?
Her father didn’t know they had been having sex for months and she was even pregnant for him
Her father said No
She said yes
She got family members involved
She had her way
As soon as she got married, her husband wanted to start acting like a husband
She didn’t like that
She didn’t want that
That was how her father was behaving since she was a young girl
She began to cheat on him
Not for love
For freedom
She wanted to be free of the tyranny of men
Her husband found out she was cheating, it became a big issue
She hadn’t considered the consequences and how it would look
She just wanted to be with a guy who will let her be herself and not be “husband like”
She didn’t want to cook for anybody and they couldn’t afford a cook!
She was earning way more than him and she wanted to keep her money so that she can enjoy her freedom
She saw how her father’s money kept her mother in line and didn’t want that for herself
Eventually she ran away with her lover
Her husband didn’t know what he did wrong...
He wanted to know what was expected of him in such a situation
The marriage was just three years old and they have one daughter
His wife had abandoned everything in her search for freedom
He didn’t see it that way
He saw a cheating wife and an irresponsible mother
I told him his
Wife was not a cheat
She married him at 25 and in defiance to her father for a reason
She wanted to be free of roles and duties
She wanted to live her life on her own terms
We sat down and composed an email to his wife (She had blocked him on all his other lines but he could stil
reach out to her via mail.
In the mail, we wrote exactly what we believe would help her understand that her husband got the message
We apologized and promised to let her be herself
No cooking or Churching
Just come home and be wife
The rest shall be taken care of by wisdom...
Her husband cried while sending the mail
He said he wanted her back
He will forgive without holding back
I promised him the letter will work
(I am not boasting but I am quite good at writing, you can ask @CokerWemimo how she got to say Yes after one text message)
The human heart
Is an open book to the Holy Spirit
Jesus knew man and he needed no to be told anything about man and so do I through the Holy Spirt.
The mail went out on a Monday, in the mail my phone number was listed as a marriage counselor. She called me on Wednesday morning. We talked and
Met. Three weeks later she was reconciled to her husband and child.
The marriage is eight years old today
They have three more babies and are happy together

Marriage is sometimes deeper than boy meets girl!

The End

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More from @GbengaWemimo

6 Apr
It started as a simple conversation
I was contemplating the death and resurrection of Jesus
and engaging the Holy Spirit in a conversation
I said "Do you know that Jesus was the one that declared himself as the resurrection and the life? was if possible that if he didn't make
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Am I supposed to start declaring that I am the resurrection and the life too?
Will that be appropriate seeing that I have not had the occasion to stand before a grave and declare "Lazarus, come forth" like Jesus did?
Holy Spirit said "Do you want to stand before a grave and declare "Lazarus, come forth" as Jesus did?
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He said "Okay"
I went back to my contemplations, I always internalize the words of Jesus
Sometimes I would personalize the words and say them out loud
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When Jesus died on the cross, He didn’t take the place of “Christians,
” but the place of sinners. He came as man’s substitute. The whole world has been saved from the punishment of sin, but God’s interest wasn’t just to save man from the punishment of sin, but to save man from the life and nature of sin
The death of Jesus Christ settled the charges
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3 Apr
It was her mother that suggested a change of fortune through marriage
Her mother had a friend, they were members of the same fraternity
He was a very rich man and he was already married to three wives
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independent of the others
The entire family meet in his mansion only three times a year
On his birthday, on New Year's day and on their annual family reunion with other members of the extended family which he hosts
His business ran into some trouble
He ran to her mother for help
Her mother did everything in her power to help him survive that lean season
After he had successfully navigated that dry season, he returned to her mother to say Thank you
Her mother told him what she wanted
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2 Apr
The very first time he cheated on his wife
He met the girl at a market
She was a tailor
His office needed some curtain materials and he was the one who was sent to the market to get the materials because the facility manager was on leave and he was the one standing in for the
facility manager
As soon as he picked the materials he deemed appropriate, the curtain sellers told him they had tailors who could cut the materials and sew the curtains for him
He told them to get one of the tailors
The curtain seller made a phone call
A few minutes later, the
lady arrived
He paid for the material and moved with the materials to the shop of the lady
While the lady sewed the curtains they got talking
Just a chat here and a chat there
They somehow exchanged numbers
By the time the lady was done, they had become friends of a sort
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Read 39 tweets
1 Apr
The day started on a very poor note
Perhaps it was because he slept on the anger of the previous day
He got home that day and met a note on the table informing him that his wife had left for her parent's house for the sixth time in seven days because her father was mildly ill
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He initially felt it was cool to be married to a lady with such a strong family bond
As time went on he realized a strong family bond tend to skew people's thinking in a certain way...
The outsider was always the enemy, the gaijin
Whenever they had an issue, his parents in law will take their daughter's side
When they had their first child, their daughter refused to take immunization for the baby because she couldn't bear anybody poking her daughter with an injection
It was a silly reason and he objected
Read 35 tweets
31 Mar
An Unshakable Kingdom Hebrews 12:
(Exodus 20:18–21; Deut 5:22–33)

18For you have not come to a mountain that can be touched and thatg is burning with fire; to darkness, gloom, and storm; 19to a trumpet blast or to a voice that made its hearers beg that no further word be spoken
20For they could not bear what was commanded: “If even an animal touches the mountain, it must be stoned.”h 21The sight was so terrifying that even Moses said, “I am trembling with fear.”i

22Instead, you have come to Mount Zion, to the city of the living God, the heavenly
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