Treats: I think that everyone deserves treats from time to time. Treats that they give themselves, rather than treats given to them by other people./1
It could be that during the love bombing phase of a relationship with a narcissist you received many treats. These probably dried up once the devaluation phase commenced. Or maybe you were given things by the narc, but they weren’t very nice or what you liked, or wanted./2
I love flowers and spent many years hoping that some man would give them to me. Eventually - duh! - I realised that I should buy flowers for myself, and I do that now regularly, particularly in the winter when there’s nothing flowering in the garden./3
It’s amazing how much these flowers cheer me up. I sit and look at them in the evening, having placed them somewhere in my line of sight of an evening./4
For you it might be something different that is a treat. I’d suggest that it’s not necessarily a food or drink related item, if possible./5
Please think about treating yourself on a regular basis just for being ‘you’, not necessarily because you’ve ‘earned’ it in some way, by achieving a goal or whatever - although it’s good to celebrate that, too, when you do./6
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Flying Monkeys: Flying monkeys 🐵 are the people that a narc uses to promote the narc’s version of events. This version of events will not be the truth, it will be what the narc wants everyone to think./1
The flying monkeys can be recruited from the abuser’s coterie, the victim’s friends (who have been manipulated to side with the abuser) and people in authority (who have also been manipulated to side with the abuser)./2
It’s another aspect of gaslighting and it’s a way for the narcissist to inflict additional torment on the victim./3