I’ve read a Tweet that affects me deeply, and so I must give some important advice. In 2014, my mother fell and broke her hip. She made it clear to my brother and me that she did NOT want a DNR. My older brother got power of attorney, and she went into hospital. She was there for
Eight months. During that time they pressured us constantly to sign a DNR - they threatened, lied, and cajoled. All to no effect: two times over the course of her stay she was revived; the day before she died we had a very lovely time, and she and I sang our last duet together.
The next day her heart stopped, they could not revive her, and so she left us - God’s time and hers. So I want to share what I consider essential advice if an elderly loved one of yours is going in for an extended stay. A) get medical power of attorney; if you don’t, the docs
Will take it. B) A family member needs to show up every day if possible - not only to comfort the patient, but remind the staff that they are under outside surveillance. C) Bring cans and flowers to the nurses - carrot and stick is no good without the carrot, and kindness to them
Will make them your allies. D) Palliative care means sustaining the patient without physical therapy - and if there is ANY chance to regain some mobility, push for therapy. E) Do not put the patient into Hospice unless they are REALLY dying; otherwise you can’t send the patient
To Emergency; and F) Do not allow the Patient to be deprived of nutrition and hydration; these are NOT “extraordinary means” but essential - and it is a crime if the individual dies through being deprived of them rather than through whatever is actually killing them. Make sure
Your loved one has the Sacraments and the scapular. If you are going through this or shall in future, you have my prayers- it is a very hard road. But in the end, doing your utmost for the patient will lessen the pain of the eventual loss.
God bless and keep you.
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