By the time Lagosians finally understand that Bola Ahmed Tinubu and his political progeny are to Lagos, what Buhari is to Nigeria - a lazy, extractive, mendacious parasite - I hope he won't have completely devastated Lagos and its economy.

How can you not see it?
There's no "mystery" to him. He's literally Buhari but Ikoyi-flavoured.

Maintains his political order using thuggery and feudalist tactics, has spent most of his life living off public money, has no ideas for governance beyond expanding the state and raising taxes...that's it🤷🏿‍♂️
Lagos is literally the engine of Nigeria's economy and benefits from having the productive capacity of the entire country poured into it - it runs itself!

What exactly have this fraud and his successors actually accomplished????

How is this not obvious?!

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More from @DavidHundeyin

9 Apr
One group of people in (southern) Nigeria I will always feel sorry for are the folks with N250M houses and Range Rovers and N23M in the bank who think that these things make them part of Nigeria's establishment.

I'll always be thankful to my dad for disabusing me of such notions
It is possible to live in the same neighbourhoods, eat in the same restaurants, attend the same schools, fly to the same destinations and have the same social graces as the owners of Nigeria, without ever being close to being one of them.

So many of us do not understand this.
In my lifetime, I've seen so many of said southerners rise and fall, all the while desperately keeping up appearances while the ground under their feet gives way, all the while not understanding what was happening and why.

The establishment is small. It is ethnic. It is filial.
Read 6 tweets
7 Apr
In all my years of yabbing Zenith Bank which I've used since 2007, I've never had a situation where I do an electronic N50,000 transfer and it tells me "Transaction Completed" only for the money to vanish into a black hole.

But once you call yourself "fintech" anything goes.
Zenith Bank has done a lot of things that pissed me off including playing fast and loose with a USD transfer to my NGN account. I dragged them here for it.

But I have never seen Zenith Bank literally lose N50k of my money. I don't get how this is acceptable fiduciary behaviour.
I'm happy that some of you are so unthinkably wealthy that you can watch N50,000 ($100) of your hard earned money disappear into a completely unexplained black hole and be happy to let it happen.

Me I'm not o. The last time I was rich was in 2015. These days I work for a living.
Read 6 tweets
5 Apr
I remember in 2016 when I traveled to Ekwulobia via Asaba airport for a Nigerian Breweries activation and I passed through Onitsha.

There were snipers with flak helmets stationed above the Niger Bridge and military roadblocks with sandbags on the main road through Onitsha.
There were assault rifles peeking out above the sandbags and sniper rifles on tripods pointing at ordinary passenger vehicles going past.

You would have thought these guys were scanning for IEDs in a hot zone in fucking Fullujah, not cosplaying GI Joe near Onitsha Main Market.
You could hear comments from people in the vehicle and their tone, and you could feel a very deep sense of resentment at being treated like they were subjects under martial law in a territory under hostile occupation.

I didnt even live there and I felt oppressed!
Read 8 tweets
4 Apr
A bank C-Suite guy makes something like N2m/month. A teller at a branch of that bank makes something like 75k/month.

The C-suite isn't paid that much because they necessarily produce 27x the value of a teller, but because their potential risk to the bank is 27x that of a teller.
If the teller goes rogue and somehow beats the control systems in place, the most they can cost the bank is a few million naira. If the Head of Network Security goes rogue, he/she can bring the entire bank down.

That's what justifies that pay. And that is my point.
No one is suggesting that Nigerian police officers should be paid significantly more because they are great people or they necessarily deserve it, but because the COST of unmotivated police obsessed with petty bribery is many times the cost of paying them well.
Read 4 tweets
4 Apr
I always find it fascinating how conversations like the one under this tweet focus exclusively on the moral failings of the public officials living above their incomes, and completely sidestep the fact that public sector wages in Nigeria are stupidly, ridiculously low.
If my dad had not retired and gone private, I would not have had the opportunities I had and I would not have the life I have.

Are public sector workers in Nigeria not entitled to achieve self actualisation? Or that is reserved for the private sector alone?

These are the issues
My older sister once worked in the Lagos State Civil Service with her BA, MBA, 1 year experience at a bank and NIIT certifications in Java and C++.

Her monthly wage (2009)? N38,250 after deductions.

Is this realistic or genuinely sustainable? What do you expect will happen?
Read 6 tweets
4 Apr
Apart from seeing the inherent dishonesty and illogic of Jehovah's Witnesses up close, it was also observing the likes of Bakare, Okotie and Isi Fried Hair while growing up that first made me entirely question the concept of religion.

Imagine taking these fraudsters serious.
Someone will look you in your eyes and tell you "God told me that I'll be the next Nigerian president." The omnipotent Judeo-Christian god told him o!

Then the election comes and goes, and this dude gets 35,000 votes.

And you still carry your yansh to his church subsequently🤮
How many times did Tunde Bakare claim that "God" told him that he would be the next president? Was his god lying? Or his god's power no reach INEC power?

Or perhaps Bakare himself is a pathological liar and career bullshitter who lives off people's credulity?

I wonder which🙄
Read 4 tweets

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