Thread by @feliciasonmez

I think there’s a general lack of understanding about what going through a traumatic response is like. So I just want to share a few thoughts/observations in case it’s helpful for anyone out there — someone you love or work with may be going through it at some point. 1/x

The first and biggest point is that there’s no one, overarching model for what a traumatic response looks like. It’s a personal phenomenon that can vary widely based on the individual, what they’ve gone through and what their circumstances are. 2/x

Some people may experience shock and feel numb for days. Some people may experience personality swings and not feel like their usual selves. Some people may find themselves “all over the place” emotionally. Some people may be overwhelmed by fatigue and unable to do anything. 3/x

Sometimes, it’s a sense of dissociation — a feeling of being there but not “there.” Sometimes it’s a combination of all those things. Or they may come and go.

This thread by @LeahMillis has some excellent resources on what trauma can look and feel like. 4/x

https://twitter.com/leahmillis/status/1374788656033058818

Often, it’s not a linear path toward feeling better. A person may have good days and bad days. They may look and sound like they’re doing well one day, but then the next day — or even the next moment — they may feel unable to function. 5/x

So, for that reason, it’s probably not a good idea to tell someone who is experiencing a traumatic response that they sound like they’re “doing great.” They probably aren’t.

Many times, we are feeling impatient with ourselves for taking so long to “get back to normal.” 6/x

In my case, as I’ve mentioned on these here Twitters, dissociation has been one of the hardest things to deal with. It’s like a cloud that’s always hanging over me. One moment I’m able to have a lovely chat with a neighbor or a walk with a friend, and feel like I’m present... 7/x

... and then the next moment (as happened today), I’m standing at Popeye’s and the cashier is asking me what side I want, and the menu is right there in front of me, and I’m just staring and staring at it and the words aren’t reaching my brain. 8/x

This is not for lack of familiarity with the Popeye’s menu, I (and my Popeye’s gift card — thanks, Mom) can assure you. 9/x

This past week or so, I’ve had a day where I walked six miles and spent wonderful time outside with a friend; a day where I nearly passed out at a medical appointment due to all the stress I’ve been experiencing; a day where I sat at home, stared at things and cried... 10/x

... a day where I danced with my friend’s daughter in the park; and a day where I took a hot shower, a hot bath, a cold bath and a cold shower all in succession to try to calm my racing brain. 11/x

It’s often said that going through an assault doesn’t make you an expert on all assaults — it just makes you an expert on your own. The same, I think, holds true for trauma.

There’s no right or wrong way to respond to it, or experience it, and each person is different. 12/x

If your friend or loved one is going through it, let them know you’re there for them, ask them how you can help and listen to them.

Some days they might feel up to seeing people, but others they might need to be alone and rest. 13/x

If you’re someone going through a traumatic response, know that you’re not alone, and things will get better. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself space and time to heal. Seek out support from those you trust, and don’t be afraid to seek professional help. It can help a lot. 14/x

That’s especially true if you’re feeling overwhelmed, depressed or are having thoughts of harming yourself. Please reach out to someone; you don’t have to suffer in silence.

Okay, I think that’s it for this thread. Many thanks for reading, all. 🙏🙏 15/15