I think there’s a general lack of understanding about what going through a traumatic response is like. So I just want to share a few thoughts/observations in case it’s helpful for anyone out there — someone you love or work with may be going through it at some point. 1/x
The first and biggest point is that there’s no one, overarching model for what a traumatic response looks like. It’s a personal phenomenon that can vary widely based on the individual, what they’ve gone through and what their circumstances are. 2/x
Some people may experience shock and feel numb for days. Some people may experience personality swings and not feel like their usual selves. Some people may find themselves “all over the place” emotionally. Some people may be overwhelmed by fatigue and unable to do anything. 3/x
Sometimes, it’s a sense of dissociation — a feeling of being there but not “there.” Sometimes it’s a combination of all those things. Or they may come and go.

This thread by @LeahMillis has some excellent resources on what trauma can look and feel like. 4/x
Often, it’s not a linear path toward feeling better. A person may have good days and bad days. They may look and sound like they’re doing well one day, but then the next day — or even the next moment — they may feel unable to function. 5/x
So, for that reason, it’s probably not a good idea to tell someone who is experiencing a traumatic response that they sound like they’re “doing great.” They probably aren’t.

Many times, we are feeling impatient with ourselves for taking so long to “get back to normal.” 6/x
In my case, as I’ve mentioned on these here Twitters, dissociation has been one of the hardest things to deal with. It’s like a cloud that’s always hanging over me. One moment I’m able to have a lovely chat with a neighbor or a walk with a friend, and feel like I’m present... 7/x
... and then the next moment (as happened today), I’m standing at Popeye’s and the cashier is asking me what side I want, and the menu is right there in front of me, and I’m just staring and staring at it and the words aren’t reaching my brain. 8/x
This is not for lack of familiarity with the Popeye’s menu, I (and my Popeye’s gift card — thanks, Mom) can assure you. 9/x
This past week or so, I’ve had a day where I walked six miles and spent wonderful time outside with a friend; a day where I nearly passed out at a medical appointment due to all the stress I’ve been experiencing; a day where I sat at home, stared at things and cried... 10/x
... a day where I danced with my friend’s daughter in the park; and a day where I took a hot shower, a hot bath, a cold bath and a cold shower all in succession to try to calm my racing brain. 11/x
It’s often said that going through an assault doesn’t make you an expert on all assaults — it just makes you an expert on your own. The same, I think, holds true for trauma.

There’s no right or wrong way to respond to it, or experience it, and each person is different. 12/x
If your friend or loved one is going through it, let them know you’re there for them, ask them how you can help and listen to them.

Some days they might feel up to seeing people, but others they might need to be alone and rest. 13/x
If you’re someone going through a traumatic response, know that you’re not alone, and things will get better. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself space and time to heal. Seek out support from those you trust, and don’t be afraid to seek professional help. It can help a lot. 14/x
That’s especially true if you’re feeling overwhelmed, depressed or are having thoughts of harming yourself. Please reach out to someone; you don’t have to suffer in silence.

Okay, I think that’s it for this thread. Many thanks for reading, all. 🙏🙏 15/15

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh

Keep Current with Felicia Sonmez

Felicia Sonmez Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!


Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @feliciasonmez

28 Mar
Hours before the 3/16 Washington Post town hall that @politico reported on, I had a session with a therapist I hadn’t seen for more than a year (I had changed insurance).

I caught him up on the events of the past year, including all the threats, my doxxing and suspension. 1/x
At one point, he asked me whether I feel supported by the Post’s current management, now that the editor who oversaw my suspension had retired.

And I just burst into tears. 2/x
It was the directness of his question that I think really caught me off guard. I’ve tried to keep my head down and just do my job the best I can, despite having to take myself off sexual assault-related stories at least once every week or two, sometimes even more often. 3/x
Read 16 tweets
18 Jan
I don’t know if anyone else out there is feeling this, but the more I think about the whole Phil Spector situation — and the more I read about his abusive behavior — the more enraged and depressed I become. If you’re feeling this way too, I just want you to know you’re not alone.
I’m no expert on this topic. But from the little I have read in the past 24 hours—mostly from digging into previous reports, and not the obituaries—Spector “surprised” his wife, Ronnie, with two adopted children as a “Christmas gift.” He reportedly imprisoned them, and Ronnie...
..and two of Spector’s three adopted sons have accused him of sexual abuse.

“Donte Spector, 33, said he was forced to perform simulated intercourse with his father's girlfriend. When he was 9, he was handcuffed and blindfolded for her amusement, he said.”
Read 23 tweets
17 Jan
Violence against women should never be normalized or minimized — least of all in an obituary that one imagines took months if not years to put together, and which likely went through many layers of editing. There are lessons for all news outlets here. 1/x
If your headline mentions the subject’s successes but not the murder they committed, if your story devotes 20 paragraphs to the subject’s career and one paragraph at the end to their violence against women and children — what message does that send to readers? To survivors? 2/x
That news organizations are quick to change their headlines and framing in the wake of a social media backlash is good, but it’s not enough. Survivors are routinely erased in life as well as death. Media outlets have an important role to play in ensuring that does not happen. 3/x
Read 7 tweets
17 Dec 20
Biden’s soon-to-be senior adviser, Rep. Cedric Richmond (D-La.), has tested positive for covid-19, per the transition
Richmond “was not in close contact, as defined by the CDC, with the President-elect. President-elect Biden underwent PCR testing for COVID-19 today and COVID-19 was not detected,” the transition says.
Richmond traveled to Georgia Tuesday on his own, transition says. His interactions with Biden “happened in open air, were masked and totaled less than 15 consecutive minutes, the CDC’s timeframe for close contact.”
Read 5 tweets
29 Nov 20
On Fox's "Sunday Morning Futures," Trump claims some foreign leaders are calling and telling him this was the most "messed-up" election they've ever seen. He doesn't name any of these leaders.
Trump again trying to discredit the election results, arguing that he was ahead in the vote count on election night until "they did these massive dumps of votes."
Trump renewing his baseless claims about dead people voting en masse. "This election was rigged. This election was a total fraud. ... The media doesn't even want to cover it." There is no evidence of widespread fraud in the election.
Read 9 tweets
22 Nov 20
Michael Steel (@michael_steel) former top aide to John Boehner, Paul Ryan and others, now a spokesman for Dominion Voting Systems, rebuts Sidney Powell's wild claims of voter fraud in this Fox interview. Very much worth watching. (1/x)

@michael_steel This exchange at the very end gets to the heart of the matter.

Q: They’re going to call you a RINO. What do these allegations do to the belief in our election system?

Steel: “I’ve worked for conservative causes, candidates and elected officials for nearly 20 years..." (2/x)
More Steel: "I think that these allegations are not allegations against Dominion Voting Systems. They are against our elected officials at the state and local level -- bipartisan poll watchers, the very system that inspires the confidence that we have ..." (3/x)
Read 4 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!