1. Hello and Welcome! It’s episode 334 of #MrMrsBetterHalf. Mr & Mrs Better Half is designed to strengthen marriages & relationships that will lead to marriage, with wisdom from God's Word. 
2. This week, a single man has this situation to contend with- “My girlfriend just told me she wants to be a housewife. Should I break up with her?” #MrMrsBetterHalf
3. First of all, there’s a preconceived notion that housewives or house-husbands as the case may be are underutilized, unintelligent and unambitious. This is not necessarily so. #MrMrsBetterHalf
4. While it is true that some people stay at home, watch soap operas and become idle and unproductive, the office of a homemaker when it works right can be the most important calling in a family unit. #MrMrsBetterHalf
5. Now there are different situations that make people homemakers. There are some who are born homemakers, some who choose to be homemakers and some who have the duties of a homemaker thrust upon them. #MrMrsBetterHalf
6. People who are born homemakers have a sense of calling for the development of the family unit. These are people who have a natural gift or talent for lending support to people on a mission as well as raising children of influence. #MrMrsBetterHalf
7. They are the ones who would rather homeschool their children or work on their spouse’s callings than become high-powered executives. They are the king and queen makers and are behind the success of their families. #MrMrsBetterHalf
8. Several powerful men and women from politicians to business moguls have pointed to their ‘unknown’ stay-at-home spouses or parents as the reason for their success. Don’t underestimate the power of a homemaker with a calling. #MrMrsBetterHalf
9. Next, those who choose to be homemakers. They usually don’t start out intending to be homemakers but circumstances propel them to willingly make this decision. E.g. a relocation following a job change of one spouse. #MrMrsBetterHalf
10. When you move to a new country, the changes and culture shock can be jarring for a family especially if you have children. Sometimes it is important that the children have more support than usual to give them a sense of stability. #MrMrsBetterHalf
11. In such cases, a spouse might choose to stay home and help the children through this hurdle rather than throw him/herself in the labour market. And this is a very laudable decision. Money alone won’t make a happy home. #MrMrsBetterHalf
12. A destabilized, unhappy family, is an unhealthy one. Sometimes things as basic as being welcomed home with a meal and a listening ear with all domestic issues under control are invaluable to settling down and being at peace. #MrMrsBetterHalf
13. Finally, there are people who have the duties of being a homemaker thrust upon them. Sometimes it is simply required. E.g. if you marry a monarch, you are unlikely to be allowed to take regular employment. #MrMrsBetterHalf
14. Sometimes, a family simply doesn’t need two incomes. So a wealthy man who has enough money to sustain many generations might insist on his wife not working. Warning: ladies, when courting ensure you know your man’s stance on work! #MrMrsBetterHalf
15. Other times it might be unforeseen circumstances that force you to become a homemaker – e.g. a health challenge caused by an accident or illness. In such cases, a spouse might have to stay home to give the patient special care. #MrMrsBetterHalf
16. Bottom-line, being a homemaker is not a shameful calling. A homemaker who has a sense of calling and purpose is an invaluable asset to the life of his or her family. S/he is the chief executive and administrator of family affairs! #MrMrsBetterHalf
17. I will only add that homemakers should deliberately invest in their personal development. Take courses that will continue to enhance your life and leadership quotient and don’t be isolated. Be involved in social projects, as time will allow. #MrMrsBetterHalf
18. There’s nothing wrong with being involved or even being a leader in your community association. Remember that your children will grow up and leave the home. When they do you can naturally migrate into other interests. #MrMrsBetterHalf
19. So young man, why is your girlfriend saying she wants to be a housewife? You need to find out. Does she have a sense of calling or do you sense that she is just being lazy and wants to be pampered and just hang around the house? #MrMrsBetterHalf
20. If she says she has a calling to be a housewife, probe deeper? How does she plan to utilize her gifts and callings? Encourage her to articulate her dreams or visions for 5, 10 or 20 years. #MrMrsBetterHalf
21. Ladies, ensure you do not underestimate the job of a housewife. Being a great housewife is work! It is not for the lazy or the unintelligent or people who don’t have healthy self-esteem. Be sure of what you bring to the table. #MrMrsBetterHalf
22. Guys, if she really has a sense of calling that can align with your future plans you might be better off supporting her than discarding her. Rather than think she’s crazy you might want to see how both your plans can align for success. #MrMrsBetterHalf
23. Do you agree with her vision? Do you have the same passion she does for safeguarding and training your children and for taking care of the home? It’s important that you see value in her vision or she will seem like a burden to you. #MrMrsBetterHalf
24. However, be very clear on the fact that financial stability is also very important. Romance without finance is very difficult if not impossible. If your income can’t sustain you, will she be willing to work until it can? #MrMrsBetterHalf
25. The woman should not be too rigid about her own plans and visions. Poverty isn’t healthy or enjoyable. If circumstances indicate that you jump in to contribute to the family purse then be willing to do so. #MrMrsBetterHalf
26. When things stabilize then you can revisit the plan for her being a housewife. Plans are just a guide to life. Sometimes life throws a curveball and you will have adjusted. Neither of you should be inflexible. #MrMrsBetterHalf
27. Now if you sense that she just wants to be kept and spoiled and that is not in line with how you see your life going, you have to square up with her and tell her that won’t work for you. #MrMrsBetterHalf
28. The truth is that her announcement should not come as a surprise because a woman who wants to be pampered and spoiled would have shown you her true colours while you’re dating or courting. #MrMrsBetterHalf
29. If that is who she is don’t think she’s going to change in marriage. If you love her, be prepared to sustain her and her lifestyle without complaint. If you can’t handle it then it’s best to free her and move on. #MrMrsBetterHalf
30. On the other hand, you might not really mind the idea of spoiling her but you are not yet in a position to shoulder the financial burden for the entire home alone. Then, come out and say this to her as well. #MrMrsBetterHalf
31. You might tell her that once your income is stable enough to sustain the whole family, she can stop working. The danger is that this might never happen and that’s a gamble she will have to take. #MrMrsBetterHalf
32. The one thing you should not do is lead her on or marry her intending to force her into the workplace once you are married. Some men think they can ‘train’ their wives. No sir- you train children, adults change of their own volition. #MrMrsBetterHalf
33. I hope this has been helpful. Please feel free to retweet. I will be back next week with a new question to answer. #MrMrsBetterHalf
34. May your marriages and relationships be sweet! #MrMrsBetterHalf
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