really hope this isnt a romantic relationship. he's 78, she's 35 and even for hollywood that would be pushing it.
i love indiana jones but i would really love if this installment addressed the fact ford is so old. "let's use a rascal to escape the nazis." "i cant read this inscription on the tomb unless i wear my bifocals"
cause in force awakens they mostly pretended han solo was just as han solo-y as he was in 1977
if this was a tom cruise movie she would *definitely* be the love interest. if anything 35 is "old" for a tom cruise love interest.

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More from @owillis

9 Apr
the solution is simple: we must invade canada.
"The Dry Burger War" has a nice ring to it.
"sir, poutine reservoir three clicks to the north, mounties coming in from the northeast, please advise"
"we have toronto in our sights, targeting areas around the ketchup storage facilities..."
Read 5 tweets
9 Apr
siri show me a rush limbaugh comic by someone who has never seen rush limbaugh (blame @ehananoki who has sent me down this rabbit hole)
this is sposed to be kamala harris.
this is ummmm joe biden
Read 6 tweets
9 Apr
the point of most of murdochs "news" organizations isnt to make money but to exert political power so the rest of his empire can make money. he does it in the us w fox/ny post, in uk w the sun and times etc.
this is a famous front page from the uk sun after they switched from conservative to labour to support tony blair and then he won the election in 92
in a way, to me, murdoch is kind of like limbaugh in that if he saw a path to power in left-leaning politics, his media empire would reflect that. its just that right-wing politics is more amenable to deregulation and mergers which benefit the murdoch pocket.
Read 7 tweets
8 Apr
added "QAnon" to my word spellcheck today because its not going away and i got tired of the red squiggly lines.
and yes i write everything in word unlike the very insane @CahnEmily who puts things in the cms like a wild woman
this is what i think people who type directly into a cms look like as they write
Read 4 tweets
8 Apr
i like writing things to troll boomers. i love boomers. some of my favorite parents and aunts and uncles are boomers. but some sick gen x thing inside me makes me want to write about how all the cultural icons they love are meaningless. its not even like i strongly believe it.
this is the most republican-type feeling i have. i could prob launch an entire site with this energy and attract nothing but hate clicks and retire from it.

Scientific proof that the Beatles were absolutely horrible
Woodstock was actually very poorly attended
Who is Elvis?
its like trolling the libs when you know your target will get spitting mad, and you just throw your head back and laugh at how angry they get because you threw a tomato at the church of john, paul, ringo, and george.
Read 7 tweets
8 Apr
peter thiel would be a pretty great poster boy for why we need rich people to pay more in taxes.
like every time i see a story about the dude its about some insanely bizarre cartoonish rich guy thing like sucking out young people's blood
when these guys give you caricatures like this... use it
Read 4 tweets

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