Thread by @theSamParr

Fancy job perks won't make you happy.

Here's why (backed by lovely graphics):

There are two types of job perks: the basic shit and the fancy shit.

Basic shit = salary, equity, medical, dental, 401k.

Fancy shit= free laundry, yoga classes, office arcade, ping pong

Many companies use fancy shit to convince talented people to join their team.

But I think you should discount those perks more than you think.

Why? Because work happiness is determined by the sum of the two shits.

The breakdown:

Option A is simple, without all the glitz and glamour. They emphasize stuff like passion, curiosity, and camaraderie. They don't define themselves by perks.

Option B is icing heavy and cake light. Their sales pitch leads with gourmet chefs, company retreats, and a woodworking shop. The basic shit is assumed and included as an afterthought.

When you’re a 21-year-old recent grad deciding between Option A and Option B , it’s easy to let the perks convince you.

But you shouldn’t.

Let’s say you have 2 job offers on the table.

1. AltPad: Gaming company that aims to slow down early onset Alzheimers. You're super passionate about this!

2. Schmoogle: A social network that's infamous for its fancy perks. You don't use Schmoogle’s product, but you’ll be the envy of your friends.

You take the fancy job and have your first week at Schmoogle. It feels like you’re back in college! You spend lunch time in the cafe meeting new friends, ride bikes during the break time, and get tons of new supplies.

Then the work starts.

Just so happens, the cafe at Schmoogle runs out of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, your favorite cereal.

When you ask the kitchen staff if they plan on restocking soon, they say that because of the CEO’s new gluten allergy they’ll no longer have it it.

It’s not like you work at Schmoogle because of the free cereal but it didn’t hurt.

Then you visit your friend at another fancyshit company Spitter.

Their gym is HUGE. It puts things in perspective. If Schmoogle cared about you they'd have a gym like Spitter.

Strike two.

A few months after visiting Spitter you get a memo from the head of HR.

“Dear Schmoogle employees, because of a lack of attendance, Thursday night yoga classes are now canceled.”

Are you kidding me Schmoogle? The 1 thing you like about Thursdays just got canceled.

BURN IT DOWN

You see, you set yourself up to fail when you pick a job based on the perks.

Like marrying someone because they have a Ferrari and a mansion with a swimming pool.

The allure of the fancy shit goes away. Behind every Ferrari owner is someone who's sick of their Ferrari.

So, if you ever have to decide between the fancy shit or the basic shit, make sure to put most of the emphasis on the basic shit. Not whether they give out free headphones.