Thread by @AlvinTanYOLO

Unpopular opinion:

I don't believe in communicating in a relationship.

It's a futile endeavor.

Ultimately we're talking about changing a person.

It doesn't really work, because it builds resentment, they end up unhappy, and then the mask eventually slips anyway.

Say it annoys you that she has guy friends and texts/goes out with them.

So you decide to communicate this concern to her.

Best-case scenario?

She cuts off all her guy friends for you.

Will she be happy? No.

Will she hold this against you? Yes.

She sees this as a sacrifice.

Or say you don't find her physically attractive anymore because she decides to get fat.

So you communicate this concern to her.

Best-case scenario?

She actually loses weight (lol).

But will she be happy? No.

Will she resent you? Yes.

Will your relationship be stronger? No.

Or maybe she's a parasite.

So you nag at her to contribute financially.

Maybe pay for dinner and groceries every once in a while.

Well you'd be lucky if she does it, but at what cost?

She does it super-begrudgingly, and it won't last anyway.

Her mask will slip soon enough.

What's the bloody point?

You communicate when you're unhappy about something, but does it actually work?

Yeah yeah, relationships are about compromise, but why force it?

Why force your partner to be someone they're not?

Why try to shove a square peg into a round hole?

I don't believe in communication, because some things don't need to be said.

If I need to say it, obviously I chose the wrong person to be with.

If I like slim girls, it's much easier to find a girl who takes pride in staying fit than to nag a fat girl into BMI acceptability.

The latter doesn't work, it's exhausting, and most of all it's so fucking unfair to the other person.

Why must they change for you?

Why can't you just be an adult and find for someone who actually fulfills your criteria?

I think acceptance is a lost concept these days.

Why can't you just accept the way people are?

Why must other people keep improving for your benefit?

Accept the fact that it'll never get better, this is their final form, and it might get worse from here, never better.

Because this is ultimately what it comes down to.

In normie language:

Love is about accepting your partner's flaws and imperfections.

Never complaining and never campaigning for change through shaming, manipulation, or nagging.

Just accept them for who they are, and god forbid even learn to love the shitty parts.

Because it is only in the unconditional acceptance and adoration of one's partner, and of all of their flaws, that any semblance of emotion resembling love can be found.

The rest is just conditional quid-pro-quo bullshit (99% of marriages).

Oh, you have a rocky marriage because you lost your job or your business is failing?

Congratulations, you married a gold digger.

There's no point dressing it up.

She wants and needs your money.

You as a person can go to hell as far as she's concerned if you're bringing $0 to the table.

You have to accept that, when women talk about commitment, they're really referring to money.

A penniless man is worthless, and she'd be incurring huge opportunity costs to be with you.

So in this example, what good would communicating do?

You tell me.

She wants A, you don't have it, and basically you're telling her to be content with B.

How's that fair to her?

You failed to live up to your end of the bargain.

Marriage is a financial merger, after all!

This is why I'll never care for girls who like me for what I have vs. like me for who I am.

Yes, there's a difference, it pays to know how to tell the difference, and it makes all the difference as to whether your relationship will be everlasting bliss or a constant struggle.

I feel sorry for men who are used as a workhorse to provide and provide until they die.