A short thread on the #FordeReport.
Where is it Keith?

It’s in the attic.
Where is it Kieth?

It’s in that Greggs over there.
Where is it Keef?

See the bloke in the bucket hat, he had it last.
Where is it Keeth?

Mandelson threw it off a yacht.
Where is it Kief?

I definitely didn’t hide it in a bush.

• • •

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More from @helenmallam

Nov 15, 2021
Dad displayed stroke symptoms last Friday evening. Rang 999, the phone operator talked me through the episode but apologised as there would be an 8 hour wait for an ambulance - somehow I got him into the car and drove him to A&E myself. He was seen by a doctor immediately.
By the time I had got to the hospital, got him out of the car and into his wheelchair my 87 year-old father seemed to have recovered. The doctor thought it was a sequence of mini strokes and ordered tests - bloods, CT scan, ECG, chest x-ray, and then we waited.
Many patients weren’t wearing masks. One woman took her loose mask off to cough. A young man whose female companion had fallen off her party shoe and damaged her ankle didn’t wear a mask at all, bought a wide variety of snacks and left the wrappers on the floor.
Read 7 tweets

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