"This announcement brought to you by plant-based company advertising, such as our sponsors over at Lightlife!"
"We're dedicated to saving our planet!"

No, you're not. You're dedicated to saving the stacks of cash your biased advertisers are giving you in exchange for your virtue-signaling.
Every time you see a corporation breathlessly telling you how much they care about saving the earth by switching to plant-based meat substitutes over actual meat, do a little digging and you'll find the plant-based meat substitute corporation behind it pushing the buttons.
Hey, eat what you want. Don't want to eat meat? Fine. Go on with your bad self. You do you, I do me.

But don't piss in my face and tell me it's raining the pure, restorative rain healing Mother Nature when it's just you making profits off shaming people into using your products.
Hawking products is one thing. Meat substitutes are fine.

But this business of calling it some sort of organic grassroots push to "save the earth before it's too late!" when it's simply a corporate profits campaign trying to shame people into buying their products is disgusting.
Remember Ford vs. Chevy back in the day? "Our cars are better than theirs because of X,Y, and Z!" Cool.

Now it's devolved into shaming people into buying stuff because otherwise "You're killing the planet, you heartless deniers!"

It's still just corporations making money.
Drive electric or you're killing the planet! (Even though they're still charged by the coal-powered energy grid.)

Eat faux meat or you're hastening our doom! (Even though it's more processed and energy-consuming than a slab of dead animal.)
So why the need to lie—and that's what they're doing here—to us? Why not push it like anything else we might buy? Why not sell them on their merits?

Is it because you have an inferior product that isn't as good as it seems and you have to use deception to make it actually sell?

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More from @AF632

26 Apr
Beer ingredients:

🌱Barley (plant)
🌱Hops (plant)
🌰Yeast (fungus — plant)
💧Water (water, duh)

I'd like to know what kind of "beer" Chuck swills ordinarily that he'd have to specify this one was "plant-based."
I only drink the finest plant-based beer. Meat-based beer is simply too salty for my refined palate.
Oh look, a flock of meat-based turkeys just went through the yard. My meat-based dog barked at them.
Read 5 tweets
24 Apr
Big Indiana Jones vibes there, complete with the exact same sound. Image
Still laughing.
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17 Apr
Unlikely. He hasn't the stamina nor the arm strength.
Okay, probably mini-golf.
And they can just let him shoot the same hole over and over. Not like he'd notice.
Read 4 tweets
14 Mar
"Contrary to some cynical pundits, Biden was not “lucky” to win in 2020. He is not a gaffe machine; indeed, he is religiously on-message and often eloquent."
With someone so "religiously on-message and often eloquent," @JRubinBlogger, any logical explanation why he hasn't done any press conferences or spoken to the American public for more than just a few minutes once or twice now?
I mean, c'mon man! This man just exudes eloquence!
Read 14 tweets
14 Mar
In our brave new world, human contact is shunned. Humans must grow up learning to fear the touch of another human's skin, keeping everyone at a distance of a double arm's length for fear of contamination from any foreign virus, disease, filth, bile, or compassion. Image
All Jim ever wanted to be was an astronaut. It was his lifelong dream. And now, thanks to the kind role players at the local Society for Creative Anachronism, he was one! He hadn't been this excited since teacher had given him the box of 64 crayons to replace the ones he'd eaten! Image
It had finally happened. She'd talked back to the TSA agent. In this brave new world one couldn't just say what they wanted. One bad word and it was right to the trash bin. Now there was nothing to do but wait for the sanitation crews to arrive and transport them to the landfill. Image
Read 12 tweets
13 Mar
Beyoncé and I share a lot more in common than previously thought!
Please respect our privacy.
Seriously, paparazzi, give it a break! Just because Beyoncé and I have both decided to spend some time alone and not attend some two bit awards show doesn't mean we're a thing!
Read 5 tweets

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