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Raffi Melkonian Profile picture
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29 Apr, 4 tweets, 2 min read
I really enjoy these super-textual Gorsuch opinions.

supremecourt.gov/opinions/20pdf…
You can tell he just delights in them

"Oh I'm being too literal? Too sad too bad!"
"I see, so my interpretive philosophy makes the government very sad. I bathe in its distress!"
I know I'm being flip, but again, there's very much a "did you not read Bostock?" flair here.

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More from @RMFifthCircuit

Raffi Melkonian Profile picture
29 Apr
I've had cases against two similar testers - one, a man in NYC who would sue each store up and down a New York avenue for failing to have ramps, and another who would buy a bottle of each pill at the health food store and then assert they didn't work.

CA5 says no standing.
I don't mean to imply these cases are meritless. Some are (vitamin guy), some aren't.
Whoops, forgot the link. ca5.uscourts.gov/opinions/pub/2…
Read 4 tweets
Raffi Melkonian Profile picture
28 Apr
I genuinely thought the way jobs work is that you see an available job and apply for it, and it sort of works that way right out of law school, but afterwards it’s all a jumble of networks and asking people and lunches.
Which, like, if you don’t like any of those things is an issue, but you’ve got to find a way to do it.

And here we are on Twitter.
On this point, I know the legal market in Houston pretty well. It’s big, but honestly if you just find one person with a good network you can wangle an invite to coffee with any significant person in the field you want. There just aren’t that many lawyers.
Read 5 tweets
Raffi Melkonian Profile picture
27 Apr
It’s remarkable how the culture of bad high end restaurants resembles that of bad law firms. 1/ nytimes.com/2021/04/27/din…
Drug and alcohol abuse Image
Nasty behavior, but everyone says it’s how to learn Image
Read 9 tweets
Raffi Melkonian Profile picture
20 Apr
A note: I am an appellate lawyer. Yet, I know next to nothing about criminal appeals (other than habeas). The number of people qualified to opine on the chances of success on the Chauvin appeal are very small, and most of them are criminal appellate lawyers.
So, take Twitter with a grain of salt for a little while.

Having said that, you will soon discover that even the very best criminal appellate lawyers are very used to losing almost all their cases.
Like I said yesterday. You should especially ignore attention seekers like Dersh.
Read 6 tweets
Raffi Melkonian Profile picture
19 Apr
My dad's first real job after college was at an oil rig company in the United Arab Emirates, 40 some odd years ago. His boss went to fire a ship captain who was rude. My dad did some research and found out the guy was a "national" of the UAE. They... were not meant to be fired.
So my dad tells his boss that they can't fire the guy. The boss insists. The man is fired. He apparently shrugs, and says, "you're not going to like what happens next."

A few weeks later, a lawsuit appears. Eventually, the boss is called to testify. 2/
After a bunch of to and fro, the Judge finally says "Listen, how many people work for your company?"

Boss: 15,000.

Judge: "And you can't find *somewhere* to put this guy?"

Boss: No.

Judge: "Ok. I'll be back with my verdict." /3
Read 5 tweets
Raffi Melkonian Profile picture
1 Apr
Great episode bout a world I don't know.

Pia tells a story of a partner asking her if she could help on a deal. She said "no, no bandwidth." Next thing she saw as an email introducing her to the client and committing her to producing deal dox by the next day. 1/
That sort of thing happened to me too.

"Hey, how long for the first cut of the APA?"

"Well, I've got this M&A Agreement that has to go out tonight. So realistically tomorrow night."

Email: "Raffi will circulate the draft APA and ancillary agreements tonight. "
Me: "Well, if I get the M&A Agreement out at 2 am, and these guys are in California, so if I send out the APA at 8 am over here that's still sort of tonight."
Read 4 tweets

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