Thread by @LionelMedia

Did you get your vaccine? Did you get both of them? Which ones did you get?

Excuse me, who the hell are you?

I’m that pain in the ass friend of yours who, for reasons that I will never be able to explain, now takes an almost savant-like interest in all things vaccines. Well?

First of all, it’s none of your business.

I meant nothing by it. I just care all of a sudden who has the vaccine because I want the world to know that I received all of them. And I even got my free doughnut and posted my receiving the vaccine on Facebook.

So tell me, why?

Why? Because I am a Gladys Kravitz pain in the ass. My life is completely empty and devoid of anything exciting. I have no yardstick to measure anything other than my failure. But getting the vaccine and wearing this ridiculous face diaper are ways that I stand out.

What?

True. And I’m telling you now that I will always wear a face diaper for the rest of my life. I like the way it hides my expression and obscures my humanity.

Don’t you think vaccines deserve some liability on the part of the manufacturers?

You mean corporate responsibility?

Yes, responsibility that encourages testing and review.

No way. That would only delay the release of the vaccines and my ability to virtue signal and tell the world that I received my vaccines. Nothing must interrupt my self-aggrandizement.

You’re sick.

Yes, but vaccinated.