My wife has a beautiful story of when she was in college right after the system of apartheid in South Africa fell, but racial tensions were still high.
I won’t tell it. I’ll let her do that, but in a nutshell, she was a leader who had white Afrikaner men as her subordinates. Because of her efforts to meet them where they were, they went from not even sitting near her to being some of her closest friends still today.
She changed how they saw black people. She challenged the way they were raised just by being who she was. They went from denigrating her to giving her their utmost respect.
I’ve heard her tell this story many times, and what I’ve found to be true is this:
I’ve heard her tell this story many times, and what I’ve found to be true is this:
The perpetual victim can’t get passed the “they wouldn’t sit next to her” part. They also see her extending an olive branch as a sign of weakness and a “disservice to the struggle for freedom.”
The secure person listens to, and is often inspired by the whole story. They see the olive branch as a sign of strength, reconciliation, and an incredible amount of dignity and self-assurance.
Listen to the whole story.
Listen to the whole story.
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