Thread by @moskov

Some push back on this: do people really fight over this stuff at Asana, or just choose not to engage the left-y majority?

Usually, this doesn't get messy for us. But sometimes it does, and moreover we have conflict in non-political/social conversations all the time. Advice 🧵

https://twitter.com/moskov/status/1386826921850269703

First, I cannot emphasize enough that large distribution text-based discussion is a terrible medium for conflict. That is where all the flame wars happen.

So try to move into a synchronous medium where you can convey emotion and ideally body language. When possible, in person.

If it's really heated, ideally break into smaller groups or a series of 1:1s. (We sometimes call these "listening tours")

In large groups, people feel more need to defend their identities, which translates into digging in/doubling down/getting angry. Smaller is more open.

Be conscious of the *context* in addition to the content of the conversation. Usually, someone involved is feeling a threat to their security, control, or approval. That someone might be you.

This other thread goes into that idea more:

https://twitter.com/moskov/status/1383899949918658567

I'm no Buddha - it's *common* for me to engage from a place of defensiveness or threat. But, with awareness:
- I can remove myself from the conversation if needed
- I can ask other leaders to jump in who are still feeling present and curious.
- I know to do cleanup later

We invest in training all our employees to develop this awareness during onboarding, ideally by taking a Conscious Leadership Group workshop. Quicker versions:
1/ Read the book amazon.com/15-Commitments…
2/ Read a different book, Nonviolent Communication amazon.com/Nonviolent-Com…

3/ Watch this hilarious comedy special by @BreneBrown netflix.com/title/81010166'

And relatedly, learn to speak unarguably. "I am" becomes "I'm telling myself a story that... " If both parties can do this well, it is amazing (while *improving* ability to work through the conflict)

None of the above is related to whether you want to allow politics/social conversations or have a "woke" culture - it's generic advice for all kinds of conflict.

But... if you become a little more skilled at conflict, maybe those conversations won't seem so scary to allow.