I've snapped. And I'm going to say it. All the dickheads who are niggling me over Hillsborough have pushed me to the edge. But making money out of it? Being a 'Murdoch rat'?
You know, for years we banged our heads against a brick wall. Everyone in Liverpool knew, the rest of the country believed The Sun
So you have two options. Carry on or try to confront it. I got a job at The Times. I got myself into a position where I could write. When very few people were even interested about Hillsborough - @david_conn was an exception - I tried to mention it at every possible point
And The Times audience was not naturally sympathetic. But, because we had a sensible editor, by the time the 20th anniversary came around, the paper was shifting to support the campaign. Go back and read my piece after the memorial
By the HIP it was on the front page. Lots of people got in touch with me and the paper to say they hadn't understood what really happened. I realised about 2005 that we had to try to convince people who disliked us (Scousers) and football
The same with Talksport. Their listeners might not have been instinctively sympathetic. But you talk to them. Tell them. Convince them. What's the other option? Leave some of the media organisations with the biggest reach to the opposition?
And I wish I had made money from it. At least something positive might have come out of it. Instead I slogged around media outlets pouring out the fucking pain on each occasion. The day of the HIP verdict I did 17 interviews, each more destructive than the last. No fucking money
And it's the worst sort of Tory view that the only reason people will do things is for money. Do you know what it takes to write the first-hand pieces about my experiences? A fucking lot
But what other choice do I have? The battle goes on and will until the day I die. Oh, and an actor says he doesn't believe what I said in the Hillsborough film. Well go on, act it. Show us how easy it is to do. Wanker
And people bring up Colin Murray all the time. As I always say, where was he when we needed him? When it looked like the world had forgotten Hillsborough and just wanted to ignore it. When I was spending my days off trying to see MPs - of all parties - to get some support
When even my bosses at The Times were telling me I was writing too much about Hillsborough - they never stopped me, though. Go check out what happened after I left. There's so much more I could say. But the pain in all of us who fought is still raw
I'm glad I fought the battle in the Murdoch pages, on the Murdoch airwaves. I'd do it all again. If you think it was about money then you are some kind of c***
So thanks for everyone who's supported me. To the people who have done this to me tonight, I pity you. But if you were here I would hit you so hard
Oh, and you know why media organisations approach me to talk about Hillsborough? Because I was there as a fan, because I stepped over dead bodies, because I managed to gain a voice in the media and because I can articulate the agony we've suffered
I've never approached anyone
32 years on I have to explain this shit. And live with the memories, flashbacks and nightmares. Some of you make me sick. Not just in a metaphorical way
And there'll be people laughing out there saying 'ha, he's had a breakdown.' Well, yeah, I've had dozens of them. Fucking dozens
For years I fought my battles alone. I wasn't in the pens. I didn't feel worthy of mixing with the survivors. I felt - and still feel - like I hadn't done enough and I wasn't worthy of their company. @RichieG_LFC and a lot of friends have helped me think differently
I refused to call myself a survivor. I was in the stands. I was just outside. Then Anne Williams told me off about that. She told me she felt sorry for me, because of what I'd seem. I cried for two days. She said 'you are a survivor'
If Anne Williams would have told me not to do Talksport I wouldn't have done it. Margaret Aspinall did a column for us in The Times - and she slaughtered The Sun in the piece
I shouldn't have to say any of this.

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More from @TonyEvans92a

3 May
I don't want any sympathy from any one. But I'll tell you what the sort of tweets that I got from @kentriley do to people like me
You go through spells where you don't think about what happened. You live with it. You even cope with stuff like the trials and the disappointment. But Hillsborough hangs around. It trails you. It sneaks up on you
And then some idiot triggers everything. You go a few weeks, even months without nightmares and then a prick on twitter sets you back years. One Arsenal fan seven or eight years ago tweeted 'you should have died at Hillsborough' and the impact was horrible: on me and the family
Read 9 tweets
19 Apr
Some thoughts about clubs and fandom. You should divorce the team you support and your idea of fan culture from the business of that club
The boardroom and the terraces have (generally) wanted the same thing: success. But for different reasons. Supporters for glory, owners for profits (though they love the glory and the prestige)
The most important thing about football is the sense of culture and history among fans. A stupid game means something. Identity. Community. Beating rivals. Gathering together
Read 13 tweets
9 Mar
100k a year? 😂😂😂😂. Oh, lad, you are so clueless. You have no idea how the world works. I wish you were right
‘Socialist elite’ Here I am at Eton singing the boat song
And here’s my stately home
Read 4 tweets
9 Mar
Part of me thinks we should ignore the kerfuffle around the royal family. Not dignify it with comment. Except for one thing. The monarchy is the cornerstone of the class system and British society. Everything else that follows is a consequence of this system
The idea of 'commoners' is insane. The notion that the aristocracy have a 'duty' to those 'below' them is a myth they spread. The Queen believes she is carrying out duties. What are they? Being born. Being superior. Being regal. Visiting, waving, pretending to look interested
If there was a real duty, it would be to make the lives of their 'subjects' better. There is nothing of that in this monarchy. Supporting the odd charity or two is not enough. The reality is the Queen is a rallying point for nationalism and a symbol of the Empire
Read 17 tweets
7 Jun 20
With trouble on the streets, think it’s worth talking about the number of people who are going on social media in support of the police and who are angry at their treatment
I can understand their viewpoint. They have probably never had serious interaction with the police, certainly not in confrontational situations. If you’re white, middle-class and live in a ‘good’ neighbourhood, the police are a positive force
Officers see you as ‘good people.’ You are generally no trouble to them. But not everyone has your advantages
Read 23 tweets
30 May 20
May 30. The anniversary of the 1984 European Cup final. A momentous night that would have massive consequences. Against Roma in Rome. It will probably amaze people today but there were only just over 8,000 Liverpool there
Most of us who were in the Stadio Olimpico and the Eternal City wince at the memory of the violence directed at us before and after the game. Roma stabbed, slashed and beat us. Google 'puncicate' to get a sense of it
The toxic ramifications would had a horrible legacy. The anger and suspicion from in Rome had an impact on behaviour in Brussels a year on. There was a sense of 'no Italian will never treat me like that again.' The reasons for Heysel are many and complex but this played a part
Read 10 tweets

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