Thread by @normative

What if... both of those things are true?

https://twitter.com/pewresearch/status/1391060839051010049

I guess given a choice I’d pick “be careful...” because I’d rather focus on the thing I can control. But it’s a silly dichotomy.

Two minor additional points. First: It’s usually worth trying not to offend people *even if you think they are wrong or oversensitive to be offended.* There are reasons to break the rule, but it should be for a reason.

(As Christopher Hitchens liked to say: “A gentleman is only ever rude on purpose.”)

Second: Framing disputes over language as being primarily about “offense” misses and trivializes the point. When I was a teenager, it was not uncommon to hear kids use “gay” as a synonym for “stupid” or “lame.” This is offensive, but it’s not bad *because* it’s offensive.

It’s bad because it associates a sexual orientation with an insult, and reinforces that association in people’s minds. It might *also* give offense and thus be even worse. But focusing on the offense gets things backward: It’s offensive because it’s harmful for other reasons.

I notice that quite often people who have said something ugly or harmful like to try & judo-flip it to being about “offense”—as though that’s the only problem, and therefore the person reacting is sort of equally at fault. (There was no harm until you chose to take offense.)

Sometimes, of course, that’s true. Some people do seem to take perverse pleasure in finding things to take umbrage at. But focusing exclusively on “offense” is also often a lazy way to avoid thinking about what else might be wrong with something you’ve said.

Oof! Guilty! The original meaning had not even crossed my mind.

https://twitter.com/epicciuto/status/1391117966494912525