Thread by @dearnonnatives

I have ADHD… This is how I emphasize and relate with people, letting them know that I hear them and understand them.

Can we normalize not shaming communication styles that are common in neurodivergent people instead?

https://twitter.com/rhanty/status/1389143186556301313

It’s so much easier for y’all to try recognize that this isn’t always people being like “oh time to talk about me now” and more “I see you, I hear you” than it is for us to completely change the way we communicate with other people.

I can see why this may be unwanted in more serious conversations so:

If you want someone to just listen please say that. It sets a healthy boundary.

Ask them if they just want a listening ear if they need to get something off their chest.

Personally tho, this type of communication (anecdotal) is the only one where I AM actually listening.

Even with active listening skills, verbal feedback, head nods, and even asking questions I can have entire conversations without registering what we talked about.

I want more people to understand WHY some of us do this to alleviate misunderstanding.

This isn’t to say that if someone is using anecdotal communication you’re not allowed to be uncomfortable. It’s okay to say “hey I just need someone to listen right now”

On the other hand being someone who is a anecdotal communicator I will be straightforward that I am not a very good active listener so I may not be the best person for them to vent to. But, if that is what they need right now I will absolutely try my best.

Yes, there ARE people who do this as a way to monopolize the conversation.

Pay attention to what happens after they share their relatable story. Do they take over or do they turn it back to you? Chances are if they’re turning it back they were just trying to emphasize.