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Richard de Nooy Profile picture
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10 May, 6 tweets, 2 min read
Cees the Stone Age Man, who is considered to be the first North Hollander, lived in 2500 BC and mainly subsisted on a diet of deep-fried take-aways.
In this reconstruction, he is shown checking the menu in a snackbar.
This look is still very popular in Amsterdam, which remains true to its cultural roots despite outside influences.
The contents of Cees’ stomach revealed that his last meal consisted of a “bereklauw met saté”, “frikandel speciaal” and a “patatje oorlog”. All of which can still be ordered in Dutch snackbars.
*I am not making this shit up.
#Nederlanderthaler (cloned from Andrew Bergman’s funny bone)

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More from @RicharddeNooy

Richard de Nooy Profile picture
23 Apr
It is a great tragedy that movies like #SixMinutesToMidnight still get made, mainly because there are many more worthwhile, important and fascinating stories to be told about WWII, set in the dark forests and deep valleys of a terrible world far from The Little Island Kingdom.
Thirteen hours later and I’m still seething at the way this cardboard-cut-out, shitely-scripted rush job not only jeopardised my love for Eddie Izzard and Judi Dench, but also took a potentially powerful story and reduced it to a panto version of Murder at Hollycock Manor.
Here’s a story set in the summer of 1942. The fact that you’re looking at this intimate snapshot of six teenagers, basking on a flat roof in Amsterdam, means at least one of them survived the war and saved the picture. Image
Read 117 tweets
Richard de Nooy Profile picture
4 Mar
In May 1943, a 20-year-old Jewish woman was arrested in Amsterdam and transported more than 1000 kilometres by train to be murdered, because the man who had given her refuge was betrayed to the Nazis by his vindictive ex-wife. The man survived Sachsenhausen and Neuengamme, but...
...died at the age of 45 in 1955. The vindictive ex remarried after the war and lived happily (presumably) ever after until the summer of 1981, when she passed away at the venerable age of 73.

If nothing else, writing non-fiction will teach you there is no such thing as karma.
What interesting to note is that the policeman on desk duty reported the arrest in detail, not only including dates of birth, addresses and full names of all involved, but also the service numbers of the arresting officers, who will have known what fate awaited the young woman.
Read 8 tweets
Richard de Nooy Profile picture
6 Feb
Dutch people having a meltdown over snow that isn’t falling as forecast is probably the Dutchest thing I have ever seen.
And I have seen a great many Dutch things in my days in this here polder.
Dutch friends, listen, I think we need to accept that our snow is currently falling in England. They need it more than we do. Let’s just try to accept this and move on.
Read 5 tweets
Richard de Nooy Profile picture
14 Oct 20
With the US presidential election on the way, I decided to read up on the rules of democratic engagement, using the instruction manual for the AR-15 assault rifle. The results were as follows:

SEMI-AUTOMATIC DEMOCRAZY™
10 USER & SAFETY PRECAUTIONS

#Election2020
1. SEMI-AUTOMATIC DEMOCRAZY™ has been tooled to perfection, fully tested and inspected with care, but please ensure that the sights are set correctly, so that you do not hit random targets.
2. SEMI-AUTOMATIC DEMOCRAZY™ is not a toy. Never leave it unattended, as it may be used improperly or recklessly.
Read 12 tweets
Richard de Nooy Profile picture
2 Sep 20
Just got back from one of the weirdest walks ever! As I was passing through the strip of woodland that runs alongside the river, I heard someone groaning. So I thought: probably just a couple of guys using the last breath of summer for some outdoor, lunchtime sex.
When you've lived in Amsterdam for 30 years, you see some weird shit, including elderly ex-hippy neighbours having sex on the balcony, with Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" playing full-bawl and their mom shouting from the balcony above, that everyone can hear them.
Anyway, I rolled my eyes and kept walking, but then it sounded like the groaning was coming from above, as if there was a speaker up in a tree. So I looked up to see where it was coming from, but the sun was in my eyes, so I had to go back to look from a different angle.
Read 13 tweets
Richard de Nooy Profile picture
12 Aug 20
When I left home at the age of seventeen in 1983, my mother gave me this little album. Being a wise-ass of monumental proportions I buried it at the bottom of my suitcase, where I recently retrieved it for the book I’m writing. Would you like to know what it contains?
My mother’s full name was Theodora Herbertine — Thea for short. She had experienced a great deal in her life. Enough to fill several books. She was not shy about sharing her wisdom.
I’ll share one of her life lessons a day. Feel free to ignore them (as I did) or take them to heart.
Read 12 tweets

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