That Howie Long commercial where everything breaks when he sits on it is kind of the story of my life. Nothing is made for tall & large people.

If you're a few inches over/under the average you spend a lifetime reaching or bending over.
And just fyi, when I'm asked to reach something for someone short I always, always do it. And with a smile to boot.
My mother also agrees noth7ng is made for tall people: at a mere 4'11" & 98lbs she gave birth to a 10lb me.

Ponder that: I weighed over 1/10th of her body weight.

Whoa.
Omg and FALLING.

Y'all ever seen a big man go down? It's an EVENT.

Drop 250+lbs on your floor sometime. The walls shudder, the floor shakes.

Now throw in 6+ft of arms and legs.

Smashed a guy's outdoor table once just 'cause I lost my balance. Smashed it FLAT.

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More from @fenrir_71

12 May
The Virginia GOP just nominated for governor the hedge fund billionaire ex CEO of The Carlyle Group, who personally hosted Osama Bin Laden's brother at a gala dinner on September 11, 2001.

Because they're the party of "patriots" & the "working class."
The best part about it? They had a train wreck of a primary designed to weed out the trumpies so this guy could win. He played on about "election integrity," but that's the old white supremacist dog whistle party line anyway.
2/
They had a "drive through" primary and required all sorts of numbers and signatures from their primary voters, information which the actual base refused to give, basically en masse.

"Election integrity."
3/
Read 12 tweets
6 May
So redistricting season is almost upon us and in light of the #WeThePeopleAct I thought maybe a primer on gerrymandering might be in order.

Unusually for me we're not gonna do a ton of history here, I just think it's important for folks to know some of the process.
🧵
1/
In a nutshell the Constitutionally mandated census is how we figure out how many seats each party gets in Congress, & the state houses.

This process used to be pretty anodyne until MA passed a law in 1812 that entrenched the Democratic-Republican party's power in the state.
2/
The governor of MA at the time, Elbridge Gerry, signed this bill into law against his wishes, yet he has been attached to this highly undemocratic process ever since. There was blame cast upon him in every East Coast paper at the time.

Perhaps you've seen this old cartoon?
3/
Read 14 tweets
6 May
I'm of the opinion that history will determine Reagan killed the GOP.

He made them hate their own government and normalized lying.
Don't believe me?

Reagan killed:
-the fairness doctrine
-antitrust law
-unions
-the social safety net
-trust in government
-separation of powers
-respect for poor folks
-bipartisanship
-fair taxation
-TRUTH

The list goes on, but most importantly he was a rabid racist to boot.
Think about this for a second: The Iran/Contra scandal.

The reason it was scandal is because Reagan ignored the duly passed laws of Congress regarding executive powers and war. He didn't think Congress should have the power to reign him in. He just ignored them.

Sound familiar?
Read 5 tweets
9 Apr
I spent two hours yesterday disabusing my 22 year old son of the notion of "alpha male."

It was EXHAUSTING but I'm pretty sure I got through to him.
#ParentingNeverStops
This "alpha male" BS is being peddled on YouTube & in podcasts as self help.

When my boy said "red pill/blue pill" I about lost my damn mind.
At one point I said to him, "So I'm am ex army Ranger and a war vet. Would you consider me an alpha male?"

Him: Of course!

Me: Well I don't.

Him: What!?! Why?

Me: Because that shit doesn't exist. Those assholes are weak minded men. Stop listening to them or you'll die alone.
Read 8 tweets
5 Feb
White Supremecy Everywhere
<thread>

White folks, we need to talk. There's a white supremacy problem in this nation that goes far beyond Nazis & the KKK. It's not all men in camo playin' cosplay soldier.

And to illustrate this, I'm going to tell my story.
1/
Because the true, cold hard reality is this: all white people are white supremacists in some way, or have been. You may think you're not, but I bet you've done things to belittle a non white person and not known it.

Looking back, I sure have. And that's not easy to write.
2/
Now before we get going I want to discuss terminology a bit. I'm choosing to use white supremacy for two reasons. One is because it carries more weight. It IS associated with Nazis and the like.

But the more important reason is because of the word "racist."
3/
Read 37 tweets
14 Jan
How long until this the average Mar-a-Lago guest I wonder?

Once toxic trump starts waking up to empty halls and a lonely 40ft buffet every morning he'll have to pay the mortgage somehow.

Let's take a journey into the future shall we?

I present to you, MAGA-Lago:
1/
Of course the neighborhood will have a bit more traffic, the faithful will have a yearly hajj to bask in the warm glow of their #OrangeGodEmperor.

"Did you see all my fans in the boats? Nobody's ever seen anything like it before," he'd say to his frustrated neighbors.
2/
Holidays are a bit different, far more interactive, but the Bud Light flows freely from gold plated statues and there's no shortage of objects to burn.

Cries of "Watch this!!" abound, often the last words of the speaker.
3/
Read 10 tweets

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