How long until this the average Mar-a-Lago guest I wonder?

Once toxic trump starts waking up to empty halls and a lonely 40ft buffet every morning he'll have to pay the mortgage somehow.

Let's take a journey into the future shall we?

I present to you, MAGA-Lago:
1/
Of course the neighborhood will have a bit more traffic, the faithful will have a yearly hajj to bask in the warm glow of their #OrangeGodEmperor.

"Did you see all my fans in the boats? Nobody's ever seen anything like it before," he'd say to his frustrated neighbors.
2/
Holidays are a bit different, far more interactive, but the Bud Light flows freely from gold plated statues and there's no shortage of objects to burn.

Cries of "Watch this!!" abound, often the last words of the speaker.
3/
The golf course has been repurposed to allow for more specialized "carts." The annual Mud Pit Jamboree features free towing, plenty of rapidly descending pistol rounds, eighteen haired bare chests and more wet tee shirts then you can shake a stick at.

Yee-haw.
4/
Earl has taken over the buffet, what are those thin pancakes anyway? It's like eating paper.

Nothing but shot from a tree Florida boar here, grilled, boiled, smoked and roasted. Hell, on a stick if you want it.

Well and grits. Earl's boar grits are the finest in Florida.
5/
"Weddings used to cost more than most of us MAGA could afford, but since MAGA-Lago's Outdoor Wedding plan was combined with our car crushing Monster Truck package folks are getting married WITHOUT the shotgun!!" - 3AM ad, Florida panhandle market.
6/
With the discontinuation of black tie events the MAGA faithful are free to dance and drink all night long in their natural garb, but you'd better know Achy Breaky Heart. And a way to fast dance to Proud to Be an American.

Or Born in the USA unironically.
7/
Of course Sunday's for that other guy.

The lack of attention keeps the #OrangeGodEmperor ensconced in his private dwellings for the day, pouting and "tweeting" on an iPhone with an app that runs bot complimentary comments 24/7 on "Twitter."
8/
"So come on down to MAGA-Lago!! It's a REAL American's delight! All your fantasies ARE true!"

Or you could do the smart thing: turn around and find a beach.

<fin>
(None of these pics are mine, this post is satire)
Y'all I'm a disabled guy, going through the brutal process of getting disability benefits.

In the meantime I've no income. If any of you have a few spare bucks it'd sure help keep the heat on. Even an RT is helpful.

Thanks so much everbody.❤
gofund.me/750f4262

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
 

Keep Current with 𝚏𝚎𝚗

𝚏𝚎𝚗 Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @fenrir_71

11 Jan
Omg Mike Pence just showed up at the White House for the first time in days.
#25thAmendment?
Seriously people. Trump hasn't talked to Pence since insurrectionists were screaming "hang Mike Pence" on their way in the doors. Not one word.
I mean...this just happened. ImageImage
Read 4 tweets
5 Jan
Eleven of the fourteen Senators objecting to certification come from former Confederate states or territories.

What does that tell you?
It tells ME that the worst post Civil War event in our nation's history thus far was the killing of Reconstruction. All else follows from there.

Fun fact: monied interests killed Reconstruction using fear tactics about the left & PoC.

Sound familiar?
jacobinmag.com/2015/08/racism…
And quite frankly, barring the immediate period after WWII our nation has pretty much been exactly the same ever since, just with cooler toys.
Read 5 tweets
26 Oct 20
A close up of lichen, usually the last green before the long night of winter.
#WintersComing
Another.
A wide(er) shot. That's about two by three inch area. I'm constantly amazed by the camera on this phone.
Read 4 tweets
23 Oct 20
<thread>

I've been thinking a lot lately about naysayers. Folks who always find a reason to latch on to things that tell them "that can't happen."

This is natural humanity imo, so I'm not knockin' it, but I do wanna talk about it in the context of November 3rd.
1/
Any of y'all that read my stuff know I'm pretty bullish about this election, and Biden's chances. Hell I'm pretty bullish in general when it comes down to it. I ain't into astrology but I'm just sayin' it's odd I'm a Bull.

But I'm a thinker too. Possibly good at it.
2/
Anywho, the election.

I'm absolutely convinced Biden's got it in the bag, maybe over 400 EC votes. Maybe. Still though, imo this chicken is done. Take it out and get down with the victory meal.

But why?

I mean Russians right? Iran or whatever?
3/
Read 13 tweets
9 Oct 20
This right here is offensive as HELL to me. And I'm gonna tell you why.
1/
To say that the manifestation of trump and the current GOP is every Americans fault is HORRIBLY out of touch.

Not only am I personally offended by it, b/c I've been screaming from the rooftops for 30 years about our broken system and it's ramifications...
2/
...but I'm offended for every single american who's had their voting rights taken away, or who's been beaten down by a system that worships money and power in which they have none.

Is it logical to tell the black community, who have been systematically devastated...
3/
Read 20 tweets
9 Oct 20
I have a source that Pence tested positive for #COVID19, hence the fly back to DC.

Expect it to break soon if true.
Plus, ponder this simple fact: there's only TWO reasons Pence would leave the campaign trail right now.

1. Trump has taken a huge turn for the worse.

Or

2. He's got #COVID19.

But we'll see. I did say if true.
I tweet other stuff too y'all, from the heart. And frankly I love taking on the powerful:
Read 5 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!


This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!