Thread by @QuinnyPig

And now, I present tonight's Shitpost Thread Extravaganza:

Uncomfortable corporate realizations.

"People are our most important asset" claims every company everywhere.

Go look up what they pay engineers and IT people vs. what they pay the folks who work in HR.

Consider how much time in your career you've spent preparing for job interviews as a candidate.

Then consider the same thing, but on the hiring side.

Before calling a candidate's previous employer, ask yourself just how far you trust that company to accurately evaluate its staff.

Compare two numbers: how much money you're allowed to spend on a book, conference, or software without approval.

And how many people you can invite to an hour-long meeting multiplied by their average hourly compensation.

"Our founders used to work at Google" may sound impressive right up until you compare exactly how much a 140K employee company resembles a five person startup.

"Unlimited PTO" is a lie. You can argue with me on this point, but you're wrong.

If you're a hiring manager, consider your response to questions like "how did you support your employees during COVID?"

Then contrast your answer with what your former employees will say when asked--and they will very much be asked.

Any question you ask a candidate about their past can easily be turned around on you--LinkedIn tells you who worked where, when.

The gap on the candidate's résumé looks a lot like your team's 80% turnover rate last year to my eye. Tread lightly.

If you make your employees specify in their social media profiles that they don't speak for the company, you can shut up forever with your "bring your whole self to work" line.

Old and busted: pay ratio between the CEO and the lowest paid employee.

New hotness: The differences between their respective benefits package / expense policies.

A company’s marketing department can tell any lies they’d like; the real way to measure a project’s success is by how many people claim credit for it on LinkedIn.

If companies want to tout their diversity numbers, great--it's important!

After they finish talking about the headcount breakdown, ask them next to do a payroll percentage breakdown.

Having a customer logo on your website is an open invitation for prospects to call their friends at those companies and ask for the real story.

If the blood just drained from your face, I'll wait here while you go tidy that up. Be sure to clear the cache!

"If we do a thing our employees hate, what's the worst they're gonna do, quit?"

They might quit--and it's very far from the worst thing they can do. Don't move the ethical goalposts.

My ethical bar is simple: "when my children ask where their college funds came from, I won't be ashamed of the answer."

If you're not confident that your company passes that ethical bar... what are you doing there?

Act as if every person who isn't over-represented in our industry secretly knows each other, and gathers for an annual seminar wherein they discuss their experiences.

Now consider that this isn't terribly far from the truth.

Company Slack / email / Teams / docs rule: the future is uncertain; imagine every person named in those places one day sees it. What will they think?

Everyone searches for their own name in the company Slack on their first day.