Thread by @gauravsabnis

Ah yes, so here goes. Wife & I are both atheists, as are most of our desi friends here. So there is no real diwali celebration for us other than maybe going for a nice dinner or a dinner party. But no laxmi pooja or other rituals, that were a standard in my home growing up.

https://twitter.com/zigzackly/status/1394379594023596032

India trips usually happen in summer or december. For my first decade in the US, parents only visited during the summer. But then parents decided to visit in Fall, to check out fall colors. Which meant that for the first time in almost 15 years, Diwali was with parents!

Although parents aren't outwardly very religious, I know the diwali pooja means something to them. So I set about gathering stuff for the pooja. Printed out a pic of Laxmi, got everything together. Mom said go get pooja flowers. Something regular in my childhood.

In india, flower shops or pooja shops are everywhere. When I was told this on diwali or ganpati or gudipadwa, I just went to the nearest such seller, returned with a newspaper page full of marigold, jasmine, frangipani etc.
As it happens, florists abound where I now live!

I live in what is informally called the Hospital District. Beth israel, Bellevue, NYU Langone within a half km stretch. Huge hospitals! Obviously, a healthy flowers industry has popped up here. So I thought, oh so easy, I'll just to go the nearest florist and buy flowers.

Dear reader,
It was easier said than done. 😭😭
It turns out that the Venn diagram of
X = Flowers great for making bouquets to take for patients in hospitals
And
Y = Flowers to be used in a pooja

Looks something like this.

I thought I'd just explain to the florist what I wanted.
"Whatever smaller loose flowers you have, please just cut off the stems and put them in a paper bag. Lilies are perfect. Flowers like that."

Dude points me to a bouquet of lillies.

"Not just lilies. Assorted flowers."

Guy brings out a gorgeous assorted bouquet. But most flowers are too big for our tiny pooja set-up.

"Do you have any marigold?" I optimistically ask.

He goes in and fetches a Happy Anniversary bouquet thinking it's about marriage.

This was before I took Spanish lessons

At this point, I'm tempted to just raid one of the flower beds in our common area. But somehow that feels weird to me. Going around plucking innocent living flowers for a random ritual. Might as well buy those already cut.

So I decide to try again.

I look at the bouquets and pick one with the smallest flowers. Obviously, it's also the cheapest at $10. I tell him,
"I want this, but without the stems."

Dude, such a lovely guy, thinks I'm cash strapped.

"Oh, please just take this. For free. Evening anyway."

I say, "No no.... It's not about the price! I just need small flowers without stems. Like these."

He looks confused. I give him $40 to stress that it's not about the money. He looks delighted though.

"Those flowers like that bouquet. Just without stems."

He gamely nodded.

I'm still not sure my point has come across. His english was decent. My request was unusual. But he said thank you very much for the cash, went behind his counter and started working enthusiastically. A few minutes later, he returned with a huge ornate bouquet. 😂😂😂

Like the kind they sell online for $150. Every single flower though, too big for our pooja thali. 😂😂

But he looked so proud, I just said gracias and walked away.

Thankfully, buried within those huge flowers were still a handful of smaller ones.

I just plucked them by hand, put them in a small bag, left the bouquet in a park next to a "leave a book take a book" shelf, and went home with like 5 flowers for the pooja. 😂

Next time I'm just gonna pluck these right outside my building 😭😭😂😂

FYI, @k_rupal and I both loathe bouquets. So bringing it home was out of the question. 😂