Thread by @sweatystartup

My wife isn’t wired to care as much about money (numbers on a screen in some invisible bank somewhere) as I am.

She could care less when I talk about the size of deals, profit, loss, risk, potential, etc.

She thinks and desires totally different things. She’s wired that way.

It must be freeing to live life not totally fixated on something that only matters up to a certain point (which we crossed a while back).

And here I am starting at a computer screen 30 hours a week working to grow those invisible numbers.

For what?

Ego? Status? Pride?

In a way it’s a blessing because I’ve been lucky enough that my addiction has set our family up pretty well.

But in other ways I see so many men totally ignore every other area of life in favor of growing those damn numbers.

Health. Kids. Spouses. Friends. Hobbies. Balance.

Maybe that’s why we’re such a good team.

She balances me. Puts my in my place when it gets out of hand.

Brings me out of the clouds when other things in life are more pressing than those dumb numbers.

It’s something I really appreciate about my wife.

Many of my friends aren’t so lucky.

Either their addiction hasn’t yet paid (and might not) or their spouses are wired just like them.

So there is no balance.

And people miss out on so much.

That feeling watching your little kid learn. And grow. And explore.

Or that feeling of flushing a 6 iron to 3 feet from 175 with your three best friends watching.

Or that feeling of fitness and euphoria after a 100 mile bike ride.

Feeling accomplished and exhausted in a great way.

Or a feeling of having a cup of coffee with absolutely nothing you must do that day.

And nobody who can tell you what you have to do to get paid next Friday.

No customers or clients bullying you into working harder or turning it around faster.

You’re in control.

And not of some numbers in an account somewhere.

But of your physical world and body and mind.

Too many folks who are addicted to the numbers are totally out of control in so many other aspects of life.

And it’s sad.

The big problem:

Few people who are good at making money are good at other things.

They are insanely one-dimensional.

And guess what else?

The goal posts keep moving.

You make more money and get new friends.

Move to a nicer neighborhood.

Wind up in a group chat with better businessmen.

And you feel the same making $2MM a year as you did making $200k a year.

Going after that next milestone.

That next rush. That next big ego stroke.

Trying to keep up with the joneses.

And chasing after that goal that keeps moving further and further away.

I think I know why I keep at it.

It is ego. Status. Pride.

I can act like I don’t care what people think of me but it would be a lie.

I think it’s a primal desire of mine. For people to think highly of me.

It’s shameful when I think about it like this but it’s true.

Another deep fear of mine is failure. Inadequacy. Worthlessness.

And as an entrepreneur self-worth is often tied to those damn numbers.

If I try something else, like being a damn good dad or being really physically fit, or having great relationships - maybe I’ll fail at it.

But luckily for me I married someone who doesn’t give a shit about the money.

And she makes me a better version of myself in every other area of life.

The more important areas.