dating discourse newly centered around arranged marriages/matches seems misplaced. Despite atomization its easier to find more people than ever. The real issues almost certainly lie elsewhere.
A big component of the problem is that people cannot articulate their values and goals, or do not actually have any. Obviously school / parents (?!) / peers are little help.
Without these people idea of "dating" isn't forming something so much as abating loneliness.
Without these people idea of "dating" isn't forming something so much as abating loneliness.
It's no wonder they're default disposable. People follow vague instructions [WITHOUT GOALS OR VALUES OF ANY KIND], get bored or confused, and "move on." Like its another component of school. Some people almost see it foremost as resume building.
The [...] void is very loud, but its not loneliness per se, but closer to a directionless-ness. That's the thing you need to solve.
For example (sorry to pick on them but they're anon at least), this is bleak. They're all bleak. What are you reducing life to if this is the culmination of your expectations for a marriage? Half of the wants are about other people's... resumes.
https://twitter.com/default_friend/status/1394775215930892293
Yeah, I blame no one. Almost everyone is left to figure out things for themselves. And even if you come to have strong goals and values, its not like you can instantly find others who do. It's a problem at scale, classifieds alone cannot fix.
https://twitter.com/zslayback/status/1395725412295139338
Yeah, this is a big part of it. People have traded values and goals for options. It scans as appealing for about ten seconds but I don't know why people don't kind of get horrified from there.
https://twitter.com/anarchivette/status/1395726518844895235
I suspect people are drawn to the idea of arranged marriages/matches because because somewhat-socially-forced into trying to make something work is as close as they'll get to having values. But that's synthetic, its just someone telling you what to do. Welcome back to school.
It's synthetic because there's no cultural cache around it, those relationships will fall apart all the same if you don't actually have any of the backing values. Once teacher stops grading, you stop doing your homework.
I think this is correct and under-considered. What I wrote about friendships is true (even more true) of relationships. It hints at an answer.
https://twitter.com/SeloSlav/status/1395734964772253698
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