Thread by @HeyChelseaTroy

Dear heterosexuals:

For LGBTQ people, it's Pride Month.

But when YOU hear that term, practice replacing it in your mind with "Heteronormativity Awareness Month."

That points you in a much more productive direction with respect to what the LGBTQ community needs you to do.

Questions for heterosexuals to ask themselves in the month of June: a thread

- When a person who presents femme or masc tells a story about their partner but doesn't mention their gender, do I assume the partner's pronouns?

- How often do I see het people displaying affection in public?

- How often do I see het people calling their partners cutesy, or even slightly suggestive, pet names on public social channels?

What sorts of questions do I think a queer person has to ask before doing this?

- What sorts of connotations are wrapped up in the word "straight?" What does the word "straight" imply about people who are not "straight?"

- How might the appointment of ACB to the Supreme court have affected the way queer people live, move, start families, or search for jobs?

- How do I think my experience of finding partners might change if I had to consider the possibility that the person I reach out to might respond abusively?

- How do I think I'd proceed if I had to tell my family something that would test the conditionality of their love for me?

Questions for Heterosexual Managers to Ask Themselves in June:

- Do my company's health insurance, fertility, and parental leave policies exclude my queer employees?

- Do my company's mental healthcare policies address the needs of marginalized communities?

- What would I say to my staff on a Monday if a dude had shot up a queer club the previous weekend?

chelseatroy.com/2016/06/23/all…

- Is my company using the month of June to materially address heteronormativity in the workplace, or are they using it to rainbowize their logo in a blatant cash grab?

chelseatroy.com/2017/05/28/dea…

Questions for Queer People to Ask Themselves in the Month of June:

- Do I assign more responsibility for my emotions to my same-sex partners than my opposite-sex partners?

- Do I expect my same-sex partners to exhibit fewer boundaries for me than my opposite-sex partners?

- Do I make an effort to woo opposite-sex partners but expect same-sex partners to woo me, and complain when they don't?

- Do I maintain the visceral belief that my same-sex partners "owe" me something for dating them as they are?

- Do I expect or pressure my same-sex partners to appear before my family or friends and go along with heteronormative lies, omissions, or disguises while we're there?

- Do I acknowledge the role that financial independence (and therefore class) plays in coming out?

Questions for people of all sexualities to ask themselves in the month of June:

- Do I accept accusations that a queer person tried to "seduce" a heterosexual person INTO queerness at face value, or do I recognize the inherent homophobia in that accusation?

- Do I specifically wear certain items to 'look' queer or to 'look' heterosexual? (This is called 'flagging')

What is the impact when I judge someone's appearance based on their flags?

What does 'that looks gay' or 'that's gay' mean to me?

Do I think flag appropriation exists?

- What's my reaction when someone mentions their sexuality in a conversation? Does it change depending on the sexuality?

- Do I feel the need to mention MY sexuality to preemptively "warn off" people who don't match it? If so, why?

Questions for "Allies" to ask themselves in the month of June:

- Do I really think that comfortably participating in a heteronormative society while not actively insulting queer people merits some sort of honorable title?

- In what situations would I ACTUALLY be prepared to personally inconvenience myself to temporarily reduce the constant weight of heteronormativity on a queer friend or acquaintance?

- What could I do with my social position, power, or influence to contribute to systemic, permanent reduction of the constant weight of heteronormativity on the queer community?

What's the first step I can take? How can I take it?

Research this. Get an actual answer.

This is not an exhaustive list, but a starting point to help people familiarize themselves with the "grain" of hetero-ness that runs through society.

Circle up your friends and go through the questions. They'll help condition your muscles for advocating for the queer community.

Because here's my dirty secret: to me, Pride Month is a consolation prize. It's a communal, consolatory reaction to queer subjugation—and one now heavily appropriated by corporate interests.

I don't want a pride month.

I want to live in a world where queer people do not need a pride month.

And you know who can shape that world? People who uphold heteronormativity—especially heteros.

If you find yourself considering these questions with folks, feel free to tag it #HeteronormativityAwarenessMonth.

I'd be curious to hear how it goes, and tbh seeing this would mean more to a lot of queer potential applicants or customers than seeing your logo in rainbow.