Thread by @IndiaSpeaksPR

Mani Shankar Aiyer has just begun a room on clubhouse to discuss how Rajiv Gandhi built digital India. Please join and record for use in 2024. Pretty sure he will end up insulting all kinds of people

Sam Pitroda has also joined. He is speaking very slowly. As if every word is being first approved by 10 JP first

Jai ram Ramesh has now joined. Jai ram has no profile picture. Is he losing his famous hair?

Everyone speaking so slowly as if they learnt speaking English on Duo Lingo during COVID months

Technical difficulties have cut off Sam Pitroda. He was in the middle of explaining how he brought about a technical revolution

The other Congress speakers are struggling to figure out how to use Clubhouse. Awkward silence all around. To remind everyone who have just joined the thread, the topic is Digital India.

All Cong speakers on mute. The poor moderator is begging them to unmute themselves

Someone needs to remind the speakers that this isn't a CWC session. They can speak here.

Wajahat Habibullah has entered the chat and made a bold claim. Even beggars are using cell phones thanks to Sam Pitroda.

Wajahat Habs has the accent of someone who has watched too many silent movies and has decided to just guess how a foreign accent may sound like

Waj Habs has been speaking for 16 hours I think - yet to make a point.

Just checked google and my suspicions were proved right. He is an ex-bureaucrat

Congratulations - Jairam Ramesh has FINALLY been able to unmute himself!

Now lets listen to what he has to say about how he made India digitally savvy.

JR makes a solid traditional start - begins by crediting Nehru

Motilal always gets ignored - no idea why.

JR used a word 'obscurantist'

For those listeners taking a vodka shot everytime the words "Nehruvian legacy" is said, please admit yourself to the nearest hospital

Mani Shanker Aiyyar has STILL not been able to unmute himself. Biggest blow to Modi's hopes in 2024

Modi's luck shines through yet again. MSA has finally figured out the unmute button. Starts with a good joke

"Took me a lot of trouble to get in. Not sure if I can now log out"

Aiyer proves he is a legend in 30 seconds. The topic is Digital India. He starts with Shah Bano case

Pretty sure the moderator is deeply missing the time when Mani was on mute.

At this point Congress digital team needs to call for an emergency meeting to discuss who goes to Aiyer and tells him the topic for discussion today

Aiyer is coughing a lot. I hope he is doing OK. We desperately need him for 2024

Aiyer is talking about the legal implications during the chastity period of a recently divorced Muslim woman - the most niche topic in Digital India ever imagined.

After Shah Bano, Aiyer has now moved to Bofors

Iss Clubhouse room ke piche RSS ka haath hai

Mani sir has stopped speaking finally. The moderator sounds more relieved than a goat on the day after Eid.

The moderator just let it slip that there was a rehearsal. Followed by the speaker not being audible for the next 2 mins.

Till now, every speaker has struggled to speak. The topic, as everyone knows by now, is Digital India.

Apparently Rajiv asked his team to use his charm around the world to open doors to technology transfer.

Sounds a bit shady tbh.....

Rajiv's strengths listed

Warm
Humble
Could understand jokes

Remarkably similar to how we usually describe the most boring people in the world

THEY ARE OPENING UPTO AUDIENCE QUESTIONS

Moderator makes a breath-taking claim - today's Clubhouse session is happening because Rajiv dreamt about it decades ago

Maybe he should have slept even more.

Jairam celebrating the outstanding success of the polio vaccine program

It took India only 50 years to implement it. Hardly a long time if we see it in context of our 6000yr history

Jairam said they built national consensus over many many months and years to get the strategy for polio vaccine right. And this was not done for Covid which has proved disastrous

So it appears the Congress accusation against the Modi Govt is it moved too fast?

Sam says we have got to build a functioning democracy. Then says we can't have 5000 trolls who jump at you for saying something

Jairam says India needs a "HUGE RESET"

We may be minutes away from him wistfully mentioning the need for a Final Solution.

Jairam says it may take more than a few months to finish COVID vaccinations.

2 mins ago they celebrated polio vaccination which took 5 decades.

"Neutral activist" and ex-IAS Kannan Gopinathan is speaking now

Starts off telling a story of how Rajiv used to travel in an open jeep in Mizoram - so much more exciting than those boring roads and bridges Modi is building there now.

Every speaker keeps repeating if Rajiv didn't set up the communication towers in the 1980s then this Clubhouse chat would have been IMPOSSIBLE!

Sharad Marathe spent 10 mins explaining the amazing job he did setting up India's communication infrastructure. Sadly he was barely audible and every second word got garbled because of communication problems

Tragic.

The moderator brings up the next burning topic in Digital India

Baba Ramdev

Nothing audible anymore. After every 15 seconds, we hear the word "data"

Moderator has gone rogue and completely ditched the digital india topic

Asking Waj Habs about Modi's attack on Bureaucracy. Thankfully Waj Habs accidently muted himself and is unable to reverse it.

Audience questions are fixed (rehearsal hua hai bhai, rehearsal)

Audience coming up and saying things like "You guys are so amazing, can we digitize your brilliance"

The audience member continues - "we are horribly misinformed, myself included" - after 10 mins of praising Sam Pitroda and gang for their "brilliance"

Audience member demands for an encyclopedia on what Congress has done for India

I think what she means is a pamphlet.

Sam Pitroda says Cong has a lot of achievements but they are not easily accessible. Like God?

Jairam mentioning how Modi has no tolerance for professionals like Raghuram Rajan and Viral Acharya

The phrase "monoculture ecosystem" was used

Waj Habs was asked to speak - he keeps repeating "Can you hear me" in a faint voice

I can hear you Waj. We miss you.

Waj Habs seems like a guy you would like to have a beer with. And then quietly slip out before the bill comes.

Moderator: Mr Ramesh, what do we do between now and 2024?

Ans: We need to do what we need to do. People need to read

Wise words. Good man.

Jairam leaves. Says, next time lets do this on Zoom

This man is SO on top on new media.

Folks, I need to sadly leave and get ready for my shift at KFC.

Apologies to those who were tricked into joining this room because of my thread. It was way more boring than how I tired to make it sound