Thread by @Wizarab10

WOOING A WOMAN IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP

There is a lay around belief that the love of your life or woman of your dream could be in a toxic relationship and it is your responsibility to rescue her by asking her out - in street speak, stealing her.

The problem with stealing someone who is comfortable in a toxic relationship is that you have a very low chance of being respected. Most ladies in toxic relationship are very much aware of the toxicity but they don't leave because of other benefits they derive from the person.

In trying to convince her to leave her partner for you. You would make promises to treat her better than her partner because you think she deserves better. You want to put a pearl on someone comfortable being another person's swine.

This is where it gets interesting. You have convinced yourself you are in love because of errant fleeting emotions that does not care if you are loved in return. Chances are, it is your penis that just wants a taste and you think it is love.

Here comes the problem, if you cannot fill the gap her ex filled, you would be the victim of cuckoldery. Women love power and masculinity they can submit to because they want a man that can protect them and exert influence over their femininity.

Unfortunately, it doesn't matter to many if the person is toxic. There is a level of excitement that comes in that package. If you can't fill the financial void, she would cheat on you with him. If you can't exude masculine leadership, she would find her way back to him or others

Chances are high that you would fail in the latter because in trying to live up to your promises, you tolerate bullshit, profess love even though it is unrequited, apologize when she is wrong and spend money to impress her while making verbal confessions on the depth of your love

You successfully meet all the requirements for being tagged a good guy - the guy she thinks she want but knows she can't be with because you are boring and easy to control. Hence, she could stay with you but cheat on you, knowing full well your arms wait in comfort no matter what

In some cases, she wouldn't even find you attractive enough to have sex with her. You keep doing everything in hope of sex and her love but she could always find excuses knowing fully well, you would keep waiting in hope - (many victims of cuckoldery suffer from this).

This is why you find yourself asking why she treats you like this despite everything you have done. To be fair, you can't negotiate genuine desire. She either loves you or she doesn't. You chose to rescue her, she didn't ask you to. Worshipping her everyday is boring for her.

Many ladies do not care if the guy is toxic or awesome. They just want someone masculine who exudes authority. The same way some guys would claim that toxic pussy is the best is how some ladies feel about toxic penis.

Damaged people are dangerous. They know they will survive.

There is an excitement that comes with dating toxic people that leave people stuck in the relationship. They are interesting when they are not being abusive and romantic when making up for the toxicity. People tend to love the 2 faced relationship than the ever angelic one.

If someone stays in a toxic relationship, it is not your duty to rescue them by offering them a better relationship. What they need is therapy if they are damaged. Your relationship is not a therapy session. Don't bring someone into your life in the hope that you would heal them.

Similarly, don't date toxic people hoping that you would change them. A relationship is not an evangelism. You are not Jesus.
It even speaks low of you that you are pleading with someone treated poorly to consider you. How is that a win? How do you want to be respected?

One major problem with this concept of love is the fact that people are indifferent about being loved in return. They just want to satisfy their errant emotion or personal lust. Time would reveal how stupid you have been because to love is to give and to receive love.

Nobody should be happy or comfortable in a toxic relationship. If someone is comfortable in one, that is a red flag there. They don't need a rescue, they need to save themselves. A new man should not be the reason you leave a toxic relationship.

You should leave because of the consciousness of what you want and how you deserve to be treated. If she doesn't know that, she will never be able to love right. People accept the love they think they deserve.

You are the one thinking they don't know what they deserve.

It is different if she walks away from abuse herself because she knows what she wants and would rather be alone than be abused. In that instance, she is heartily ready to receive your love and to give hers.

Go for those who saved themselves. They are truly free.

Sometimes, the woman is even happy in her relationship. Why are you chasing her? There is no soul mate or woman of dream anywhere. There are many women in the dating pool from which you make a pick. It is always embarrassing seeing guys begging someone to love them.

You throw money, buy gifts, make promises, beg day and night - writing 300 word essay on how she gives meaning to your life, how you can't breathe without her, how you would kiss flies away from her butt, how you would give her the treasures of Solomon if she would look your way.

She knows you are good. She just doesn't want someone kissing the floor she walks on. She wants leadership - toxic or awesome. She would read your text after the first round of sex with her guy and just call you a good boy before hoping on the toxic penis for round 2.

Fact is, with such level of obsession, when you meet her, you are overly eager to impress, that you get weak at the knee and might even stutter. She would appreciate your love and call you good guy but that is not a compliment. It is a polite but loud rejection.

Stop throwing diamonds to people comfortable being abused. They can't appreciate it. Love is not blind - you are the one who is blind.

When you burn, we will be here to lie to you that they don't deserve you. You were always the joke.

You accept the love you think you deserve

Stealing someone's girlfriend is not a win as you would like to convince us. It sounds desperate and helpless. At best, it is a Pyrrhic victory but question is, at what cost?

A cold comfort is not comfort. Stop fighting too hard to love who doesn't love you.

I will not belabour the point any further. I hope you find the love you think you deserve. If you are happy, we will be happy for you. If you are not, we will also be happy for you.

Peace, Love and Spaghetti 🍷