Thread by @redbeardbrian

Getting divorced?

Know someone who is?

These exercises will save you ⌛ and 💰

(Not financial/legal advice)

🧵

You need a mindset shift, then you need to take action across 5 areas.

The big mindset shift:

You used to include your spouse in your sense of self.

But now you need to think of yourself first, not them.

This is the greatest challenge.

5 areas you need support during this process.

Physical
Emotional
Mental
Spiritual
Financial

You need a plan for each area and a trusted advocate as well.

Divorce will probably beat you up more than anything you've ever faced.

Prepare accordingly.

Physical support during divorce includes:

Food
Shelter
Working out
Space to work
Managing who has access to common spaces when

Emotional aspects include

Planning for time alone
Time with friends
Time with family
Journaling

Mental aspects of divorce

How are you addressing feelings of self worth?

Are you seeking professional help from a therapist?

Using the right tools for the job makes you strong, not weak.

Spiritually, what are you doing to sustain yourself?

Dig in with your spiritual community and mentors.

Find people of your faith whom you admire who have walked through this.

Financially, you face both the short game and the long game.

It's complicated even were you at full strength- and you are not at full strength.

You probably need a lawyer.

Again, using the right tools means you are strong.

If you plan out all 5 areas, and find advocates for all 5, your divorce will be less awful than otherwise.

To rebuild confidence in yourself, you need to understand 'what went wrobg' as best you can.

Start with this book:

goodreads.com/book/show/6105…

If your divorce includes children, then find someone who went through divorce with kids.

My thoughts may apply for you- I have no direct experience to know.

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Share it with people in need.

You may be in a dark time- but dawn may be just around the corner.