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Stephen Drennan Profile picture
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31 May, 28 tweets, 8 min read
Guy has a point.

Serious question, what do Madrid have over Everton?
Okay, but apart from a stadium that doesn't stink of catpiss...

what do Madrid have over Everton?
Okay, but apart from a stadium that doesn't stink of catpiss and A Brazilian attacker who doesn’t search his own name on Twitter.

what do Madrid have over Everton?
Okay, but apart from a stadium that doesn't stink of catpiss, A Brazilian attacker who doesn’t search his own name on Twitter, No Cuckoo clock in the trophy cabinet...

what do Madrid have over Everton?
Sure, aqueducts?

Okay, but apart from a pissless stadium, actual trophies rather than a cookoo clock in the trophy cabinet, A Brazilian attacker who doesn’t search his own name on Twitter...

what do Madrid have over Everton?
True. A fanbase thats not delusional

But apart from aqueducts, a pissless stadium, actual trophies rather than a cookoo clock in the trophy cabinet, A Brazilian attacker who doesn’t search his own name on Twitter...

what do Madrid have over Everton?
OBVIOUSLY, Thirteen European titles. Goes without saying.

But apart from non-deluded fans, aqueducts, a pissless stadium, no cookoo clock in the trophy cabinet, A non-narcissistic Brazilian attacker on social media...

what do Madrid have over Everton?
So apart from a T-rex keeper, 13 Euro Cups, non-deluded fans, aqueducts, a pissless stadium, no cookoo clock in the trophy cabinet, A non-narcissistic Brazilian attacker on social media...

what do Madrid have over Everton?
Well, yes, they have World Class Players

But apart from them, a human keeper, 13 Euro Cups, non-deluded fans, aqueducts, pissless stadium, trophy cabinet sans cookoo, A non-narcissistic Brazilian attacker on social media

what do Madrid have over Everton?
True, they live in Liverpool's shadow, have Jordan Velociraptor in goal, have a cookoo clock in place of 13 Euro Cups, deluded fans, no aqueducts, catpiss stadium, and A narcissistic Brazilian searching his own name on twitter.
But apart from that what do Madrid have over Everton?

So apart from the threat of Dunc murdering him, living in Liverpool's shadow, Jordan Velociraptor in goal, cookoo clock in place of 13 Euro Cups, deluded fans, no aqueducts, catpiss stadium, and A narcissistic Brazilian searching his own name on twitter

burnt orange kits that DEFINITELY have no red in them *spits*, being allowed to put red on the Christmas tree, and no association whatsoever with Angry Bird...

Why on earth would Ancelotti leave Everton for Madrid?

Okay, I'll give you that one. They do have an actual hope in hell of winning something next season other than the 'didn't lose to the redshite' badge.

Is that it though? Is that all Real have on Everton?

This is exactly my point. Everton wrapped up their domestic league before it was mathematically possible. No team has, nor ever will, do that.

So why would he leave for sunny Madrid, with their paella, aqueducts, 13 european cups,

a keeper with fully developed arms, a stadium that actually exists rather than Schrodingers Stadium down the docks, fans that don't try to assault opponents players wielding a toddler, kits that aren't burnt orange, red Christmas tree decs. Why?

WHYYYYY?

Well... yes, it is true. Having actual footballers rather than rejects from the Thai kickboxing league underpins their ability to win 13 euro cups, challenge for trophies every season, not live in the shadow of their inner-city rival. Apart from that tho?

It is all very well and good factually stating that Dua Lipa has been in more European Cup finals than the Ev. But apart from that and the handful of aforementioned things above... why would you leave the Evertonian peoples republic?

Also, the Ev don't have Super League problems like Real.

Granted, it is because nobody would want them anywhere near a SL where they would just try to break legs every match to even the playing fields - or rollover to a 5-0 spanking to help the Mancs finish above the redshite!
The fact that outside of Liverpool, Wales, a small corner of Norway, part of Lille where their fans got stranded & the permanently traumatised Lyon fans who saw someone try to use a toddler as a sword nobody knows who the Ev are... apart from that tho?



Exactly. What would Ancelotti do at Madrid if his team ended up in a tough group against Atalanta, Lyon and... *check notes* apoel nicosia?

He can't rely on the fans to try and beat up Aouar and Memphis! They are too far away!
Holding the Guiness World Record for loudest boo at a sporting event - which was aimed at their own players - is great and all. And they do live in Liverpool's shadow, have Jordan Velociraptor in goal, have a cookoo clock in place of 13 Euro Cups, deluded fans, no aqueducts,
catpiss stadium, and A narcissistic Brazilian searching his own name on twitter, a deluded fanbase, the largest wages to turnover ration in the Premier League, no chance of winning anything, burnt orange kits that DEFINITELY aren't red, managers aren't allowed red Christmas decs,
winning the league in October, Schrodingers Stadium down the docks, fans that don't try to assault opponents players wielding a toddler, rejects from the Thai kickboxing league rather than the world class footballers at Madrid. And I know Dua Lipa has been in more European Cup
finals than the Ev, weren't invited to the Super League, and people outside of Liverpool & Wales don't know who they are. So again I ask...why would Ancelotti ever want to leave the Evertonian peoples republic?
Okay, I have to give him that one. The key tenets of being an Everton - the pissy smelling stadium, the booing your own players, the trying to attack opposition players wielding your own child, fantasising about a stadium that doesn't exist, shouting

'give it Unsy' despite everyone and their dog knowing that would be laughably bad, and shouting 'we go to game' at people who sell out their stadium every week while you had plenty of tickets left over for your rare failed venture into European football drawing against
Apoel Nicosia, a fear of Red traffic cones outside your stadium, insisting red things are actually burnt orange, cheering for your players to injure Origi effectively derailing his career - these just aren't things that will appeal to women. So, yes, you get more at Madrid games.

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Stephen Drennan Profile picture
2 Jun
The thing is, it starts to get complicated with squad places. You probably carry 4 CB into a normal season. We need to go in with at least 5 but likely 6 next season. And if we take the same approach in midfield, and 3 goalkeepers (given Kelleher now needs a place due to age)
then it all starts to add up. This is our squad from last season.

8 home-grown, 16/17 who are not

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We have Marko Grujić coming back from injury who needs to be sold Image
or a squad place. You would imagine if we were to move on any of Adrian, Matip, Shaq, Taki, Origi - we get a like-for-like replacement. If we move on Ox or Phillips we need a homegrown player to replace them.

But this all makes manoeuvring in the market complicated as the
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Stephen Drennan Profile picture
2 Jun
The reason the whole Trent debate starts off flawed for me is the beginning premise being they are all the same thing. They aren't really.

First all, roles are far more important than positions in football. What Roberto Carlos did for Brazil isn't the same as what Konchesky did
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Which is why Hodgson sees no value in the former, tells him he isn't a left back, then sells him. Yet the latter, he brings with him to Liverpool as his only signing from his previous club.
But the more important thing is this:

How many teams' key player is a full back? It is incredibly rare. Trent is a transformative player. His talent is such that Klopp built his entire system around him (and Robbo) with them taking on the role of primary progressers
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Everton fans on my timeline are talking about Conte.

I don't have the time to do a 'What does Inter have that Everton don't' thread too.
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Stephen Drennan Profile picture
31 May
If Trent doesn't get picked, I'll be angry for him for about 5 minutes because it is just a daft fucking decision from a shit fucking manager.

But then I will remember that it means he can't get injured in England's archaic training sessions like Gomez or in their matches
like Sturridge.

One of our key players will get a full and complete rest this summer. We have seen in the past that he has a tendency to go up a level after every setback to prove his doubters wrong.

A full fit, well-rested, fired up Trent for next campaign. Fucking sign me up!
It also has the added benefit of me no longer giving a single shit about the England side this summer which I would probably have watched just for Trent.
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Stephen Drennan Profile picture
31 May
Pep sycophants in the media are weird are nauseating, man.

To read them you would think footy was shit before he rocked up with his ideas and now literally every coach in the world is in a desperate rush to play Pep-ball.

Then try to act as arbiters oh who is and is not
allowed to be criticised and for what. We see the same bollocks with fucking everything these days with the media who have decided to be gatekeepers on who is and is not criticised.

Pep is allowed to be criticised. City can and were winning domestic titles without him. Bayern
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City want to carry that dominance into Europe. He has utterly
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Stephen Drennan Profile picture
30 May
The problem I have looking at our squad right now is that lots of people have 2 years left on their contracts.

Which means if it was me, I only have 2 choices with those players - a new contract or sell.

And we were in this position with Origi once upon a time and the deal we
gave him has made him impossible to sell since then, despite our efforts to do so.

Phillips is probably the best case of this where the fanbase's opinion on this range from 'never good enough sell' to 'should start the season with Virg'.

Talk about differing opinions.
With Emre Can, we didn't offer him a new deal.

Do you pay Emre the rate of your top players? Or sell him despite having potential and wanting to realise it.

We got stuck between the two. Held on one season too long and he ran out his contract.

And don't even start me on the
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