You said something bad (Let's assume it's something *actually* bad not something innocuous that a mob pounces on unfairly)
But if you apologize, I'll think it doesn't count because you were forced to.
And if you don't, then of course I'll still be uncomfortable with you.
Follow the above logic and it means that if you said something bad, there's no way to come back.
In the current system, there *is* a way - you just apologize but you try your best to make people think it's a REAL one.
People don't judge authenticity very well though.
Hence all the "Too little too late" or the "It's not enough to say sorry, you have to take accountability with your actions and prove you'll make up for it"
And then the bar for that... no one defines it so it's a vague illusory standard to meet.
That's why you get the weird demands like "I'll only believe you're sorry if you donate X amount to this charity" or whatever.
I don't think that's the solution though I'm not sure I could articulate why atm.
I think things would go a lot better if people at least admitted that these are impossible situations, because when you try to come up with a solution to these dilemmas as if there IS a good one that perfectly solves it, you're inevitably gonna miss the mark.
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To be clear, I was thinking not just of the pressure to stay relevant to your supporters, but also just the fact that being mired in this stuff is really toxic and bad for mental health. And also it's literally the same arguments rehashed over and over so it must get *boring*!
Other times I feel like I actually *am* being centrist for real 'cause I listen to voices I trust on here from "the other side", and it's truly hard to know who is right. Feel like I'm experiencing some cognitive dissonance...
I don't even identify as a centrist lol, I just get called one so much that I start to internalize it and call myself one even though it's not what I believe
I remember this one time on reddit, I was reaching out to someone as I do, I said I was a centrist, they said what do you believe, i was like "i'm hardcore for bernie and progressive shit", they were "why are you calling yourself centrist then?" i was like "everyone calls me one"
As someone whose social life was primarily online growing up, I have thousands of chat logs of myself from the age of 13 and up.
Not only should we not judge people too much for the past, but it can actually be *fun* to go back and look at it!
Or to track growth.
Essentially, what I am saying is, let's turn this permanent public record into a *positive*.
Your online footprint is like a journal of your life. It's all an opportunity to be more open with each other, which should theoretically be good if people can move past judgment.