How to Reignite Love in 45 Minutes
( 36 research-backed questions designed to make you fall in love - again)
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( 36 research-backed questions designed to make you fall in love - again)
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Is there a formula for love and intimacy?
Researchers Elaine Aron and Arthur Aron spent most of their life searching for an answer to this question - since they fell in love.
As a part of a 1997 study, they came up with 36 questions.
Researchers Elaine Aron and Arthur Aron spent most of their life searching for an answer to this question - since they fell in love.
As a part of a 1997 study, they came up with 36 questions.
These 36 questions were designed to help couples open up in a gradual, non-abrupt manner.
How to use these questions?
Here are the instructions:
1. Find 45 minutes to be alone with your partner. It has to be in person (Facetime doesn't count)
How to use these questions?
Here are the instructions:
1. Find 45 minutes to be alone with your partner. It has to be in person (Facetime doesn't count)
2. Take turns asking one another the questions in Set I for 15 minutes. Alternate the order, so that a different person goes first each time.
3. After 15 minutes, move on to Set II even if you haven’t finished the Set I questions yet. Then spend 15 minutes on Set II.
3. After 15 minutes, move on to Set II even if you haven’t finished the Set I questions yet. Then spend 15 minutes on Set II.
4. After 15 minutes on Set II, spend 15 minutes on Set III.
Ready for the questions?
Here we go...
Ready for the questions?
Here we go...
Set I
1. Whom would you want as a dinner guest (you can pick anyone from the entire world)?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would make a day “perfect” for you?
1. Whom would you want as a dinner guest (you can pick anyone from the entire world)?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would make a day “perfect” for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. You get to live to the age of 90. But there's a catch. You either get to retain the mind and body of a 30-year-old. Or you get to retain the last 60 years of your life. Which would you want? Why?
6. You get to live to the age of 90. But there's a catch. You either get to retain the mind and body of a 30-year-old. Or you get to retain the last 60 years of your life. Which would you want? Why?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. What do you feel the most grateful for in your life?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. What do you feel the most grateful for in your life?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Set II
1. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?
2. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
1. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?
2. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
3. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
4. What do you value most in a friendship?
5. What is your most treasured memory?
6. What is your most terrible memory?
4. What do you value most in a friendship?
5. What is your most treasured memory?
6. What is your most terrible memory?
7. If you knew that you would die in one year, would you change anything about the way you are living now? Why?
8. What does friendship mean to you?
9. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
10. Take turns in sharing 5 positive characteristics of your partner.
8. What does friendship mean to you?
9. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
10. Take turns in sharing 5 positive characteristics of your partner.
11. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
12. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
12. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
Set III
1. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling…”
2. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”
3. Share something that's important for your partner to know about you before you can grow closer.
1. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling…”
2. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”
3. Share something that's important for your partner to know about you before you can grow closer.
4. Tell your partner what you like about them. Be very honest this time - no superficial answers.
5. Share an embarrassing moment in your life.
6. When did you last cry in front of another person? When did you last cry by yourself?
5. Share an embarrassing moment in your life.
6. When did you last cry in front of another person? When did you last cry by yourself?
7. Tell your partner something that you like about them.
8. What is a taboo topic for you that is too serious to be joked about?
9. If you were to die this evening, what would you most regret not having told someone?
Why haven’t you told them yet?
8. What is a taboo topic for you that is too serious to be joked about?
9. If you were to die this evening, what would you most regret not having told someone?
Why haven’t you told them yet?
10. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire.
After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item.
What would it be? Why?
11. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item.
What would it be? Why?
11. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
12. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how they might handle it.
These questions have been proven to increase closeness and passionate love within couples.
Why not give them a try?
These questions have been proven to increase closeness and passionate love within couples.
Why not give them a try?
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Then join my newsletter for even more value-packed content.
No B.S and fillers. Only actionable advice 👇
resilienthuman.me/newsletter/
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