Thread by @s_r_constantin

🧵:
One like = one piece of advice from Wine Mom Sarah to the youths

(Specific questions also welcome)

1: never invert a matrix if you don’t have to

2: when visiting colleges or interviewing for jobs, if it seems like the place is full of assholes, it probably is

3: “Matlab is easier than real programming languages” is a lie invented by Big Matlab to sell more Matlab

4: humans need sleep, yes all of them

5: talking to interesting strangers is a life hack. The sooner you can be doing real work that somebody values, the better.

6: “respectability” isn’t actually a thing you need, but money and people who respect you are

7: whatever you do, document it in writing, ideally in public. It’s a HUGE force multiplier on your reputation and helps other ppl build on your work

8: the most important skills really are reading, writing, and arithmetic. If you are *good* at self-teaching, written communication, and basic math, everything works better.

9: don’t take bureaucrats at their word. Don’t believe all the PR you hear. People lie.

10: you basically can’t learn how to do proof-based math from a college class. Go to a math camp, or I guess work with someone 1-1 or teach yourself. Dirty little secret is that math majors usually come in understanding it.

11: there are infinite projects automating something that nobody has automated before.

12: learn to “feel” the difference between actual mastery and “eh, I can fake my way through.” The latter can get you a B in a class but is totally inadequate at work or research

13: read primary sources when you can. Popularizers distort stuff.

14: it’s good to challenge yourself, but don’t assume that the stuff that’s easy for you is trivial. You can get rewarded a lot for your natural talents.

15: basically nobody has ever lost their shot at their career because they spent a summer or a year in their teens or early twenties doing something unrelated. If you want to, go for it.

16: there is such a thing as whining too much.

17: falling in love and making true friends gets undervalued by older people all the time but actually it is Good and Important. You’re not crazy for wanting to prioritize love. It has its risks, but it’s also a real value.

18: “only have sex with people you like and who are nice to you” is a good rule of thumb.

It may take a while to figure out your standards for what “nice to you” means.

19: if you don’t have a specific reason not to (like “medically contraindicated”), lift free weights.

20: the generic “first aid” for acute mental health episodes is sleep, going off all recreational drugs, taking a break from work/school, and having caring people around. Try that FIRST, then evaluate options if it’s not enough.

21: pick a default thing to invite people to, and make it cheap or free, so you don’t make people uncomfortable if they’re broke.

22: if every time you interact with someone you have to go vent about them afterwards, that person is a Bad Choice for your boyfriend/girlfriend or cofounder.

Yes, even if they objectively have many good qualities!

23: yes, there are people who seem to get by without doing any work. A surprising number of them are going to crash and burn or grow out of it. Or they come from very wealthy families.

24: you have a comparative advantage at your parents’ job or skill set, because you grew up hearing about it. You probably don’t realize how little other people know.

25: start using Roam now. Ok, or some other private digital notes library.

26: if it’s not literally a display profession like modeling, you probably aren’t “too ugly” to do it.

27: if you’re under 25 and it’s not athletics, classical music, or Starcraft, you’re probably not “too old” to excel at it.

28: a cheese platter with some nice nuts and jams is the ultimate last-minute potluck or houseparty food item

29: wine cheat sheet: Cabernet Sauvignon is bitter, Pinot Noir is sour, Grenache/Garnacha is spicy.

30: ergonomics actually matters. make sure your backpack/desk/piano bench/etc is properly adjusted.

31: gruff, intimidating types can be the most loyal mentors.

32: trust actions not words. Talk is cheap. Expect most people who say “yes” to mean no. It’s best if you can grok this without hating humanity.

33: never give up loving something because you think you’ll be made fun of. Authentic joy is the most precious thing.

34: so you’ve met the first person EVER who understands/appreciates this thing that’s close to your heart!
a.) that’s real and it matters;
b.) they’re probably not unique

35: never, ever pity-hire a friend who objectively can’t do the work. There is no way this ends without tears.

36: every salary is a negotiation. It’s not rude to negotiate, it’s EXPECTED. kalzumeus.com/2012/01/23/sal…

37: there is an invisible divide between people who are perceived to “get business” and those who aren’t. The ones who “get it” get paid more. Mostly afaik it consists of thinking about “how can I make the business more profit” vs ignoring that aspect.

37: there is an “online tax” — things like changing plane tickets can be 10x the price if you try to use the website vs calling a person on the phone.

38: compared to academia, for-profit work wants less ambitious things done with greater reliability.

39: accept it gracefully when someone cuts off contact with you

40: literally thinking more about your problems — explicit logical thinking to see if you can solve them— is hugely underrated

41: laxatives are not addictive the way opiates are. Absent eating disorders, there’s little risk in taking one once in a while when constipated.

42: yes, everyone has trouble with git and installing dependencies from the command line. It’s not just you. Budget time for installing new software.

43: the good restaurants in an unfamiliar city are on the cross-streets to the “main street” that a big crowd is strolling along in the evening.

44: the fundamental theorem of travel: sleep if you get a chance to sleep, pee if you get a chance to pee, eat if you get a chance to eat

45: trick for a nicer sounding voice: produce vocal fry before public speaking. “Vibrate it” against your throat, roof of your mouth, your whole pharynx. For a few minutes after you’ll have a more musical timbre.

46: never, ever say “just do whatever you think is best” to an aesthetic professional (makeup artist, web designer, etc.) They WILL and you will HATE IT. You may not think you have strong opinions because in your mind it’s obvious that XYZ is Just Objectively Ugly.

47: occultists (people into chaos magick or w/e) have a higher-than-average incidence of being Bad News. Manipulators, rapists, etc. some are fine, but IME it is a risk factor.

48: seriously being a woman who talks a lot is OP

49: take notes at meetings. Being the keeper of the notes is Power.

50: people are way more receptive to “you should do X” than “the thing you’re currently doing causes problem Y.”

51: think of a content creator or scholar/scientist you admire. There’s a good chance they’re broke. Famous != rich and it’s often easier than you think to help your heroes.

52: if you have a large circle of interesting smart internet friends you’re probably only a few degrees of separation from SERIOUS money

53: the only people I’ve known personally who have gone from Serious Poverty to financial security had ALL 3 of rich friends, talent, and hustle/willingness to do unsexy stuff

54: integrity and sincere conviction can have a curious effect on people. They are more willing to go your way if you are rock solid.

55: a good editor can turn your writing inside out and make it so much better. It’s a mind blowing experience.

56: shell out for quality on running shoes unless you want your ankles to be very sad

57: blind resume drops basically never result in job offers. You want a referral from a friend who already works at the company.

58: it’s not that uncommon for people to give themselves scurvy or have their hair fall out if they eat nothing but starch.

59: being in a really good mood and totally free of discomfort makes you more likable.

Some, but not all, people will judge you harshly for ever being visibly unhappy or worried in their presence.

60: nobody looks back and says “gosh, I’m glad I gave up my dreams and principles to make my boyfriend/girlfriend like me better.”

61: what you think when you’re calm is usually more accurate and wise than what you think when you’re distressed.