Thread by @AntiRacistJazz

Hey let's talk for a sec about sports fan depresh. (Caveat: we can still turn the series around tomorrow, but a lot of people are feeling really down today—including me! I am a fanatic, I take this stuff to heart!) Is sports fan depression a real thing? #TakeNote 1/

Yep. Therapists have said they often meet with client/fans who report feelings of loss, despair, anger, irritability, inability to focus on work or family, sleep disruption, and other common symptoms of depression. If u feel like this you aren't weird or bad or wrong or dumb. 2/

(Confession: sometimes I feel really silly or even guilty about it because I think "there's so many things worse in this world. It's just a silly game. Get over it!" All those things may be true, but they don't really validate why I feel like this as a Jazz fan.) 3/

Being a fan means being part of a collectivity. We feel invested, almost like we're part of the team. We read the stories, listen to interviews, we wear their names, faces, logos on our bodies! We identify with their successes, we feel their mistakes and failures. 4/

When fan depression looms we react like we might in other depressive states with psychological defenses like anger, blaming, excuse-making, and my personal favorite: ruminating on what-if thinking. ("What if Mike was healthy? What if so-and-so shot better?") 5/

Different fans react to the fan depression in different ways. It's helpful to think of our reactions as ways we're just trying to cope. That's why lecturing each other about what the right reactions are isn't helpful. People grieve how they grieve. And yeah, it's grief! 6/

It's especially hard when fan depression combines with other depressive experiences in our lives. Example: I'll bet some of my own fan trauma is tied up in the fact that I lost my dad to brain cancer in '98, after our first finals loss and before our second finals loss. 7/

Losing my dad like that, I thought the universe kinda owed me something. This was something that seemed kinda low stakes, that only required my love and attention, that promised a sense of triumph! I had a story of how the Jazz fit into my life and it broke. 8/

If you have other hard things going on in your life right now and your fan depresh is adding to the pile, I know what you feel like! And it's OK to feel like you do! I was 16 years old and I made it, and somehow my Jazz fandom persisted! (Maybe that was a bad choice haha) 9/

Well here's the good news and the hard news: we can try to mindfully work through our fan depresh. If you've been a Jazz fan for long you've probably already developed coping mechanisms. It's helpful to think about the coping skills and see if they help or hurt. 10/

AND NOW: TIPS!!!

The thing that helps me the fastest and maybe the most of all is simply moving my body. If you're mobile, psychologists have shown definitively that exercise, walking, jumping, dancing, MOVEMENT helps our bodies work through the stress cycle. 11/

When we're stressed our bodies produce cortisol. This little jerk of a hormone has kept humans alive throughout the ages of evolution, making us alert, responsive to danger, all that. But it can become TOXIC yo. 12/

Moving your body reduces that hormone and pumps some endorphins into your blood, like little sweet hugs and kisses. So if you can, go for a walk today around the block. Hit the gym or pool. Whatever. If you're fan depresh'd, move! 13/

Other tips: Dealing with ruminating thoughts is a challenge for me, so I'll grab a mantra and have it in mind like "I'm going to be OK." Or "I am grateful for my kids." Thinking of things we're grateful for has been shown to decrease levels of stress. 14/

Use "noting," a mental strategy I learned from the Headspace meditation app. (Highly recommended if you can swing it.) Noting means you pay attention to your thoughts rather than try to squash them, and you put a little sticky note on them that says "sad about the game," 15/

or "I see these thoughts about all those missed 3's." Or "I see you brain, thinking about the free throws. That was frustrating. I feel frustrated." You note the thoughts, acknowledge and honor them, then let them go as they will. Try noting! 16/

Another tip: Promise yourself a consolation prize. "If we don't get this game I'm gonna finally buy that shirt that IG keeps putting in my feed and I secretly like." Treat yourself! Arrange a prize ahead of time, and then be glad to give it to yourself. 17/

Talk with someone about it! Go through your thoughts with a friend, loved one, or if you're in therapy (I <3 therapy) talk to your therapist about it. If you find yourself spiraling in the convo you can note the fact that you're spiraling. remember to breathe breathe breathe! 18/

Not only talk, but get some comfort if you can! Get hugs, snuggle up with the kids, get the dog or cat and pet them until their fur is falling off. Physical affection if you can get it can help. You can literally hug yourself and it can help. 19/

Here's a big one: *Seek to accept the reality of what happened.* Let the universe do what it does. Focus on letting go of the need for control. Lay your dream of that big win on the alter, say a blessing, then give it over to the flames. Life can go on. No feeling is forever. 20/

I could keep going, but I think we all get the point. I'm grieving today. But I have a shred of hope left—one more shred of hope. It might win out or it might be dashed against the rocks. Either way, my work will be the same: Try to lovingly care for myself and for others. 21/

One blessed thing about fan depresh is that it's a lower-stakes trial-run where we can learn how we experience grief and loss in things that matter more than recreational sports. We can develop coping skills. We can develop deeper empathy for others. It's life practice. 22/

If you're hurting today, I'm sorry! I'm hurting with you. Hurting is ok for humans! I'm 39 and I'm still learning how to do this thing called being human. Fan depresh is real. And I believe we can deal with it in heathy ways if we try. 23/

AND SO I'm steeling myself because tomorrow might become one of the best days Jazz fans have ever experienced. Or the lights will fade and we'll be left with ash in our mouths one more time. Either way, the possibility of losing is what makes winning meaningful. /end #TakeNote

PS for the die-hards who managed to read the whole thing. Here are two recommendations.

I use the @Headspace app and it's really helped me with some things. Link: headspace.com/invite/Sl0qS

I also like The Hilarious World of Depression podcast. @THWofD hilariousworld.org