Disgraceful performance. Ridiculous formation, absurd failure to change it, taking off Foden was insane - and on the sidelines, Southgate and Holland looked clueless about what was blindingly obvious.
Gareth Southgate: you are now, officially, a typical England manager.
Scotland deserved to win. If a poorish English were the better side in the first half, Scotland had much the better of the second half. Steve Clarke's worth his weight in gold.
But England? Garbage. Appalling. I'm quite sure we won't be as bad as that again - but inexcusable.
That straight swap of Grealish for Foden alarmed the hell out of me.
Yes, we needed Grealish (who contrary to his many admirers, is not Superman) - but we also needed Foden. Really fearful from the manager: which spread to the players.
A word for Tyrone Mings, who's really surprised me and been excellent in both games so far. But the problems were further up the field: an awful mixture of complacency, lethargy, laziness and outright cluelessness.
Against Croatia in Moscow, I watched as Gareth Southgate and Steve Holland just sat there doing nothing and letting a glorious opportunity pass the nation by.
That level of paralysis is scary. And if it happens again, it'll be fatal.
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There's many things I love about major sporting tournaments. In my opinion, nothing in the world is better than the World Cup: during which, I'm like a child on Christmas morning every day for a month.
Sporting tournaments are also great for... anthems
The 1988 Olympic Games first introduced me to a good number of them, and 10-year-old me was captivated. In this list of my 20 favourites from around the world, two of them make it because they had such an impression on me at those Games in Seoul.
Before I start, a few addendums:
1. God Save The Queen is an appalling dirge which should be disposed with forthwith and does not make this list. There's bazillions of reasons for the England football team's endless failures - but GSTQ must be one of them. It's awful.
2 rounds in, and only one team has played excellently on both occasions. On pure performance, Belgium - all over the place in the first half v Denmark - would rank 2nd overall!
Major tournaments are not won during group stages. But fair play to Italy for setting a fearsome pace
England's position - four points from two games - doesn't look half as bad as last night, after watching Portugal get pummelled and Spain run around in ever-decreasing circles.
But the temptation to play for a draw on Tuesday night is very real.
The temptation for Italy to throw their game tomorrow will also be very real. They're likely to benefit hugely in the knockout stage draw if they do so.
Regarding Gattuso, and Tottenham fans' huge hostility towards him, I'm a little lost about what makes them special compared with AC Milan (one of the great clubs of Europe), Napoli and Fiorentina (two huge, famous old Italian clubs).
Maybe those 3 clubs let bygones be bygones?
Trial by social media is beyond tiresome. It's also rather creepy - like living in East Germany.
He's a football manager. He's not Wittgenstein. And any society which demands football managers (and footballers) are 'role models' has something very very wrong with it.
There is also context to his past comments, however offensive they are to many.
1. Barbara Berlusconi was in the job because she's Silvio's daughter. No other reason. She didn't take the job at all seriously and got into a relationship with Alexandre Pato, a player at Milan.
He wasn't the first to appear on my balcony way back in January - he popped up a bit after that. But what I noticed immediately was:
- He had the patience levels of a Tibetan monk
- He was completely isolated and ignored by the others
- He'd just sit in the same spot for hours and hours, thinking (hence my name for him)
- His face would kind of sink into his body, making him look really old and sad
My cleaner thought he was ill. I insisted he wasn't - well, not physically, anyway. He was depressed though.
Yes, pigeons do get depressed. There are the most awful, shocking videos on YouTube of them committing suicide: jumping to their deaths. 😭
I also kept having this image of Piggy's fate in Lord of the Flies in my head. Rather like this 😮😱😭😭😭
These are Uruguay's preliminary vaccination results, published by the government last week.
Uruguay is well advanced in its vaccination programme, but most of the population have had Sinovac. (I've had Pfizer because of underlying health conditions).
Pfizer has been 75% effective in reducing cases; Sinovac, 57%.
Interestingly, Sinovac is a whopping 97% effective in reducing death numbers. Pfizer is 80% effective.
In stopping patients needing to be admitted to intensive care, Sinovac is 95% effective; Pfizer is 99% effective.