BoKuroOi spectating as Daichi tries and fails to woo UshiKita
Daichi is really trying his best to be as unsubtle as possible but Ushijima and Kita are both dense as brick which is saying something because Daichi is pretty dense himself
Oikawa: so they're treating you like how you treated poor Yui in high school
Daichi: Can you PLEASE stop bringing that up i sent her an apology note and some tasty chocolate okay? Please don't remind me
Kuroo: Okay but what i don't get is why you like them.. like what's the draw
Daichi: i don't know, I just feel good when I'm with them, it's like.. i feel so content and peaceful, and they're both incredible people
Bokuto: And they're hot
Daichi: Yes but that's not a major factor
Kuroo:
Oikawa:
Bokuto:
Daichi: okay yes they're really unfairly hot and it's just too much that they're great people and also very good looking. like give me a break. I'm trying
Bokuto: But do you think it'll work with you three? they're both so quiet and put together, Daichi, and you're loud and yelly
Daichi: I'm only loud because YOU are loud!
Oikawa: See, loud
Kuroo: so loud
Bokuto: really loud.
Kuroo: And we didnt' even say anything. Smh sawamura
Daichi: Oh... wait what if they think we won't be compatible and they're only PRETENDING to not notice that I'm flirting.. what if they're trying to gently let me off
Kuroo: Ushijima can't pretend to do anything to save his life. And Kita hates dishonesty.
Oikawa: and let's not forget that both of them have about as much tact and delicacy as the Ever Given in the Suez canal
Kuroo: Keeping with the times, Tooru kun? I'm impressed
Oikawa: thank you Tetsu chan I do try
Bokuto: You guys are so smart, I love you so much
Daichi: if you start making out i am going to leave.
Oikawa: wehhh killjoy
Kuroo: bitterness isn't your look
Bokuto: but we're hot when we make out I don't know why you don't want to watch
Daichi: I am having a crisis. please respect that
Kuroo: Right! Right, yes, your love crisis. We should focus on that. but as Tooru was saying they do not have a shady bone in their bodies so i think the issue is just density and not deceit
Oikawa: seconded
Bokuto: yeah!
Daichi: okay, so what do i do?
Kuroo: have you tried maybe telling them you'd like to go on a date
Daichi: can i just do that?
Oikawa: i don't know Daichi can you? because i saw you trying to talk to Kita-chan the other day and you looked like you were having heat stroke
Daichi: It's not my fault okay Shinsuke has really pretty eyes!!
Kuroo: gay
Bokuto: cute!
Oikawa: ew. Anyway the point is you need to be able to tell them outright because neither of them will understand otherwise
Daichi: Okay. I hate to say this, but you're right.
Oikawa: Rude.
Daichi: I'm going to meet them to go over some notes today, so i will tell them then.
Bokuto: You go Daichi!
Kuroo: remember not to look into their 'pretty eyes' Sawamura or you'll never be able to say it
(later in the day)
"Goood afternoon folks I'm Kuroo and I'll be your host today as we watch Sawamura try to confess to Ushijima and Kita that he wants to date them! Will he be able to say it, or will he crash and burn? We will soon find out!"
"Kuroo get back here theyll see you!"
"Shhh my lovely boys we are covered by this foliage so we will be fine, trust me! Now let's watch as Sawamura, Kita and Ushijima all approach their usual table. Kita and Ushijima look stunning as always, our boy Sawamura's starting to look a little green there..."
"Oh man i hope he doesn't barf"
"I don't think Daichi is a nervous barf-er. At least I hope he isn't!"
"Oh the trio are sitting down! Daichi has positioned himself to establish equal eye contact with both of them, he's off to a great start!"
"Oh! oh have they started talking!"
"They are taking out their textbooks and notebooks, Kita just pulled out his giant pencil case. He's taking some things out of it and handing it to Ushijima. And-- he's talking to Sawamura now! How will he respond?!"
"Hopefully with words"
"I have faith that Daichi will be cool."
"Oh no! Bad call Bokuto, because Daichi is just staring with his mouth open!"
"Oh jeez"
"Ushijima looks concerned, he is saying something.. Now Kita looks concerned too... And Daichi just closed his mouth!"
"Wooo!"
"Don't cheer yet Koutaro we need to see if he'll open it again"
"Bless your pretty mouth Oikawa because Daichi is doing just that, his mouth is open.. and moving! Yes gentlemen it looks like we have achieved WORDS!"
"Wooooo! Words!"
"Koutaro, shh!!"
"Daichi's face is an alarming shade of red but by GOD he's forging ahead! He's saying things! Are they relevant things? i think i saw him say 'Date'! We're observing Ushijima and Kita's facial expressions to find out, and BOY they are both blank as fuck! I can't tell shit!"
"I think blank is good, blank is better than upset or anger right?"
"I think i agree with Koutaro here, but let's see."
"Daichi is still talking... now he's reaching for his waterbottle to take a sip. His nerves are plain as day. Now we wait for Ushijima and Kita's response"
"They're looking at each other, and i assume they're doing that freaky mind reading thing they do because there is some intense eye contact happening right now, boys! What is the verdict? I am just as eager as you are to find out!"
"kuroo budge up i wanna see too"
"We're going to fall!"
"No we're not!"
"Shush! They are done with the telepathy! They are looking at Daichi, and.... Is that.. yes! Kita just reached out to put a hand on Daichi's arm! Kita is smiling, I repeat, we have a premium Shinsuke Smile occurring Right! Now!"
"YEAHHHHHH!"
"Did you guys know you're super fucking loud and we can hear you commentating on us"
"Uhh... We don't know what you're talking about!"
"YEah!!"
"How dare you make such scandalous accusations about us, your dear friends!"
Daichi walks over to see them crouched behind the bushes. "Your whisper yelling is loud and also annoying. You're being a nuisance."
Oikawa sniffs. "Sure now you have dates you don't need us anymore, I see."
Bokuto grins. "SO, you did get the date right? They said yes?"
Kuroo gasps. "I said they did! You don't trust me?"
Daichi holds up a hand. "Yes they did. We're going to go on a date. Thank you for all your help. But please stop spying on us."
BoKuroOi grumble but they leave. Daichi goes back to his table, smiling. He'd treat them to dinner later :)

• • •

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