John Bull Profile picture
21 Jun, 6 tweets, 2 min read
It's almost like the TOC/DfT commitment to overhauling the fare system is the same as always:

About finding ways to LOOK like they've changed without changing.

The reason you can't use a smartcard everywhere has always been because you'd then automatically pay the lowest fare.
And you paying the lowest fare has never, ever been in the interest of the Train Operating Companies or the DfT.

It's why travelcards, and then Oyster, were so revolutionary. They legitimately put Londoners first.

That this still isn't the norm everywhere is stunning.
What they want is to have their cakes and eat it. They want to be able to say:

"Well TECHNICALLY, if you bought the weekday canet with pro-user discount via our dedicated (but not on google) website, and only caught the 7:34am or 8:23 trains you'd be travelling with 20% off!!!"
Whilst also knowing that everyone is going to go:

"Fuck it. I'll buy a regular season ticket."

Because no sane individual is EVER going to be able to jump through the hoops required, every day, to actually benefit from that discount.

It's Dark UI design. But with train tickets
And again, that's why Smart Ticketing on the National Railway is so shit.

Because the fare system is an elaborate dance designed to benefit shareholders and the DfT, not travellers.

A dance so complex it's almost impossible for it to be accurately modelled digitally.
I'm honestly not sure what scares the TOCS/DfT more:

The fact that the fare system is SO COMPLEX you can't model it digitally, if your goal is to AUTOMATICALLY have the traveller pay the lowest fare at any given time.

OR...

That someone might one day manage to do so.

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More from @garius

22 Jun
Taylor Swift is our Bruce Springsteen. This becomes clearer with every album.

I will be taking no further questions at this time.
I submit this before the court as evidence your honour.

Bruce fucking knocking storytelling out the PARK.
Read 4 tweets
22 Jun
See also:

Military historians who think that unless whatever you wrote covered EVERY SINGLE ASPECT of an action, your content is invalid.

"Your Twitter thread didn't mention XYZ"

It's a thread. My goal is getting them interested enough to go learn more
Just because I didn't over-explain it doesn't mean I didn't know it and consider it.

It just means it wasn't relevant to a broader narrative which has been caveated as BEING a broader narrative.
Or, to give a more specific example, not everyone gives a shit which exact unit was where, or the precise order of battle, before understanding the totality of what happened.
Read 6 tweets
22 Jun
Academic Twitter is zombie accounts named after Research Groups that are clearly run by one male academic and only tweet five times a year.

- One is an event promo with the wrong date
- Three are RTs of the main uni account
- one is an accidental porn RT
This is not to say that there are not PLENTY of good academics on Twitter. I know and follow many.

They are not, however, "academic twitter"

Because they understand that Twitter is about engaging with people on equal terms, not expecting engagement as some kind of right.
Academic Twitter (capitalised) is the ones who refuse to Tweet anything because they're outraged they only have thirteen followers, despite the fact that they've written seven original tweets in the last four years.

One of which just said "Well I'm on Twitter now."
Read 5 tweets
17 Jun
I have a theory about classical music, which is that if you didn't grow up with it then it doesn't really grab you until later in life.

Not until the point where life, loves and loses fills the lyrical gap. Then BANG! The emotional of it all hits you hard. And you fall in love.
Of course I'm also smashing a lot of Port right now so take the previous tweet with a significant amount of salt.
Also, this has reminded me of when I used to drink in Janet's Bar down South Ken.

There used to be this world famous violinist who'd come in every now and again. But I didn't know that. Because he was modest as fuck and so I just assumed he was a general orchestra guy.
Read 11 tweets
17 Jun
Me in this Port tasting. columbo in any port in a storm
Progress so far Two glasses on a port tasting sheet
We're slowly getting older. single harvest Tawny ports all they way! Close up of port bottles
Read 6 tweets
17 Jun
Greg Tongue is an ageing master carpenter with no family of his own. Daz Groove is an inner city delinquent who just wants to be given a fresh start.

A chance meeting in B&Q may just change both their lives in ways they never expected.

Tongue & Groove.

A Netflix Original.
Almost, but not quite.

"For Want of a Nail" was the spin off show, featuring cheeky fellow chippy 'Geordie', played by Jimmy Nail.

Jimmy took its theme tune "For Want of a Nail" to number 4 in the charts. You're right that the dance remix made no. 1.
In the original Tongue & Groove, Greg Tongue was played by Dennis Waterman. He recorded the theme tune, "Just Another Rough Cut", but it barely bothered the charts (peaking at number 45).

Michael Sheen is playing Gregg in the Netflix remake. Not sure if he's singing the theme.
Read 4 tweets

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