Slava Malamud 🇺🇦🇮🇱 Profile picture
Jun 22, 2021 7 tweets 3 min read Read on X
Watching another one of the Marvel films with my kid, I am absolutely appalled with the cavalier way these stories treat human life. As long as it's not one of the costumed fascist Ubermenschen, none of the millions of victims are ever mourned or given a spare thought.
Here is an idea for a Marvel film. Make it about this German cop, obligingly shooting the Romanian Uber Soldier precisely into the tiny area of his body where he can't be hurt.
Tell the story of why his years of training have failed him in this situation. Tell the story of trauma
Tell the story of what the second-degree concussion he suffered for this shot did to his brain. The nightmares, the headaches, the disorientation, the inability to work, the partial memory loss...
Tell the story of what this cinder block hurled at his chest with Romanian Iron Arm's super strength did to his ribcage.
Give a shoutout to Germany's socialized medicine, but by all means don't skip a single scene dealing with recovery from a shattered sternum and 10 broken ribs.
But who cares, right? The Aryan Shield and The Shrugging Atlas have an argument about whether rules of humanity are puny obstacles to be cleared with little or no fuss or slightly higher obstacles to be cleared with a token amount of reflective thought.
What, Fake Russian has something to say, too? I already have the Winged Token to nod along to my brilliance, let's not turn it into a Berkeley cafeteria, people!
Finally!!!
Dr. Watson is here with the last two surviving cops in Germany to offer Aryan Shield and Romanian Iron Fist the one thing they both clearly need: a psych ward for the rest of their lives!!!
I have my new favorite character! Go, Watson!

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
 

Keep Current with Slava Malamud 🇺🇦🇮🇱

Slava Malamud 🇺🇦🇮🇱 Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @SlavaMalamud

Jul 24
I dislike Netanyahu intensely. I passionately hate the pyromaniac zealots in his cabinet. These folks pervert the original purpose of Israel and make it a nation that will eventually be inhospitable to Jews like me.
I want a two-state solution.
I just wonder who else does.
The two-state solution is the framework within which all potential peacemakers in the Middle East, from Anwar Sadat to Donald Trump have tried to find a way to solve the conflict.
But is this framework still alive? Is it still relevant? I wonder.
The support for it in Israel has dwindled, that's for sure. But the bigger problem is that it never had any significant support among Palestinians to begin with.
Israel dismantled settlements in Gaza and removed all troops from the sector in 2005.
What did Gazans do in response?
Read 7 tweets
Oct 8, 2023
I am an atheist Jew. I believe my people deserve a state of their own, not because some infanticidal porkophobic fairy tale villain has promised it to us, but because we have fucking earned it with 2000 years of unimaginable suffering and persecution.
We. Deserve. It.
Don't agree? Suck on our nuclear warhead.
Ethno-states are bad, but our circumstance is special. Don't agree? Think it's hypocritical? Shouldn't have persecuted us for 2000 years, bitch. Suck on the abovementioned warhead and shut up.
So, with these non-negotiables out of the way
Here is my idea outcome:
1) Hamas - dead. To the last pigfuck. Dead and buried and then dug up and killed again and fucking dead.
2) Two states. Palestine gets its own borders and a functioning government, and the whole world helps them with it so it's sustainable and livable.
Read 5 tweets
Jul 14, 2023
On the subject of "good Russians", hopefully once and for all...
And, trust me, I am not speaking as a dispassionate outsider. I am married to a Russian citizen, after all.
So, here is my take on what should be the minimally acceptable position taken by anyone with a 🇷🇺 passport
This, of course, isn't for anyone who is actively pro-war and pro-Putin or has taken the cop-out position of "I just want the war to end", "all sides are to blame", "can't we just negotiate" or "this is politics."
These Russians are abhorrent and culpable of abetting war crimes.
However, if you are anti-war and anti-Putin, here is what you should NOT say:
* "This is Putin's war, stop blaming all Russians",
* "Collective responsibility is Nazism",
* "Why are Ukrainians so angry and impolite?"
* "Ukrainian propaganda is no better than Putin's",
Read 10 tweets
Jul 12, 2023
A Russian man waiting in line in a health center lost consciousness. Nobody gives a shit. Not a single person.
This is an absolutely normal reaction in Russia, and was so in the Soviet Union when I was growing up. Human life is garbage. One less, one more, who cares.
If you are visiting Russia, the best advice I can give you: never, ever have a heart attack outside. People will just assume you are a drunk and give you a wide berth. You may get picked up by a cop, but more likely, you'll just be left where you are.
Nobody will bat and eye.
In 1991, while waiting for a bus in Izmaylovo, Moscow, I saw a severely drunk man stumbling around on the pedestrian isle in the middle of a busy road. He seemed certain to fall right under the wheels of a passing vehicle. I came over to help him across the street...
Read 6 tweets
Jul 10, 2023
In today's issue of Great Russian Culture Discovered, Russia's most popular song of all time.
It's "Rise Up, Holy Russia" by z-singer Yan Osin. In the 🧵 below is my word-for-word translation. I challenge the people I've tagged to find a single flaw in it.
https://t.co/hLlozJ7ZGi
Image
If they do (also attn: @AlexKombarov), I promise to resign my position in NAFO Propaganda Department, of which I am the president and the entire staff.
This schlager (a German word Russians use for their most popular patriotic hymns) has probably topped every single Russian chart Image
"The war has come, the war is on
Rise up, my holy Rus, come on
It is our fate, from our God
To show Ukies Stalingrad!

We've done this many times before
We come, like Uncle Chernomor
Donbas is ours, so is Warsaw
We'll fight to England's very shore Image
Read 10 tweets
Jul 1, 2023
So, anyway, I am a public school teacher in Baltimore, and I would like to have a short conversation about merit and meritocracy.
While the case I will present here is not a of any single student in particular, it is not a hypothetical. This is literally what I see every day...
So, you are a black high school student in a city whose reputation from "The Wire" is thoroughly earned. Let's also make you a female, just for kicks. And, since we are talking specifically about college admissions, we will make you a black female with goals and aspirations...
This being Baltimore, you are more likely than not to be from a low-income family. And since we are speaking of likelihoods, by "family" I mean a single mother, who is, let's say, not doing well, and at least one sibling.
So, in order to maintain your aspirations, you have to...
Read 11 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!


This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Don't want to be a Premium member but still want to support us?

Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal

Or Donate anonymously using crypto!

Ethereum

0xfe58350B80634f60Fa6Dc149a72b4DFbc17D341E copy

Bitcoin

3ATGMxNzCUFzxpMCHL5sWSt4DVtS8UqXpi copy

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us!

:(