Thread by @denvern3

1. One interesting thing I've learnt over the past 5yrs is that being married in Zim is vastly different from being married in the diaspora. You see, Zim men have it "good", I put it in quotes coz well it is very much debatable that the situation is good 😂

2. When my daughter was born, it was just me and my wife, no relatives, no tetes or Gogos to come and takeover care etc. It was a tough period for me and for my wife. I had never been a dad, I thought I was prepared but I wasn't. You see no one said babies are permanent 😂

3. Like once they come, they are here to stay...they poop, cry and drool and they just don't go away for a second so that you can take a break...nope it is a 24hr job. Without the kind of support system you have in Zim, it is stressful and takes a toll on both parents.

4. I had just started my PhD studies, which meant I had to be in lab everyday. I remember at the time I was still trying to adapt to American education plus making up for many things that I didn't have a solid intellectual foundation in, it was rough.

5. I needed a month off, my wife needed her time too. Babies rob our ladies of a lot of things, suddenly you have a wound and a whole human being to take care of...plus a husband whose literally shocked by the enormity of parenthood..diaspora hits you hard!

6. You learn to be a husband all over again, doing those things that guys back home would quickly retort "makadyiswa mudhara" 😂...so when I see all these twars on men and women going all nywe nywe simp what what, I'm just y'all got time.

7. If you understand that winning with your family means providing and doing whatever you can to keep those close to you happy, then you'll know that there are sacrifices you need to make to make things work. Zim gives SOME Zim men the luxury to be Bluetooth Fathers.

8. I mean, there are housemaids zooming about, then Tetes and Gogos all lining up to take part of the parenting load for you. You can literally watch from afar, diaspora means all those duties are on you. If you don't adapt, your life will become more miserable.

9. I can't say that I'm the total best at this, nope, I made mistakes, and missteps as well, but I gained so much more by really becoming a present parent in the absence of a support system that could swoop in anytime to lift the weight.

10. Not many have survived this trial by fire 🔥😂...so yah being a parent in Zim, unless you really make an effort haaa you can just chill uko. I also feel that because we were in a State with less Black people or friends, we learnt that we are all we have.

11. Someone once told me that most marriages fail coz we keep options open...we can debate this... But I kind of get it. I had and have one job, which is to keep my wife happy 😜...coz I'm not looking for any other option😅..but paZim you are in familiar territory..

12. Which can deceive you into thinking that you are "the man" and can literally do whatever you want coz "there are many other ladies outchea"..🙆. I've learnt to value what I have and to keep it close. For sure options never end, but contentment yields more dividends.

13. In conclusion, there are many things you get to experience that you may not even think about in Zim. Being strangers in a foreign land definitely changed my perspective on what we accepted as "traditional male roles" back home. Unozvionera pamhuno sefodya😅.