Every grandparent should seek out and sing the perfect nursery rhyme appropriate to their particular tiny grand-offspring so that they can participate in actions and noises. By trial and error, I found it yesterday: 'Knees up Mother Brown'. ('HEY!!!')
As 'Zeyde' (Yiddish for grandfather) it will be my duty to pass on:
Herrel Shmerel went to the races
lost his gatkes and his braces.
(Herrel = little chap; shmerel = fool; gatkes either means long johns or trousers.)
Granny's in the kitchen
Doing a bit of stitching
In came the bogeyman
and chased Granny out.
BOO!
Well, said the bogeyman,
that's not fair!
Well, said Granny,
I don't CARE!
Eena meena
macker racker
rare rah
domin-acker
chickerbocker
lollypopper
OM!
POM!
PUSH!

• • •

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More from @MichaelRosenYes

29 Jun
1/ I had the German measles
I had them very bad.
They wrapped me in a blanket
and put me in a van.
2/ The road was very bumpy
I nearly tumbled out.
When I got to hospital
I heard a baby shout:
"Mamma, Pappa take me home
take me from this rusty home.
I've been here a year or two
Now I wanna be home with you..
Read 5 tweets
29 Jun
1/ There was an old woman of 92 - parlez-vous x 3
she done a fart and missed the loo
Inky pinky parlez-vous.
2/ The fart went rolling down the street, parley-vous x3
knocked a copper off his feet
inky pinky parlez vous.
3/ Bristol City were playing at home, parley vous x 3
They kicked the fart from here to Rome
inky pinky parlez vous
Read 5 tweets
29 Jun
1/
My old man's a dustman
he wears a dustman's hat
he bought 2000 tickets
to see a football match
2/Fatty passed to Skinny
Skinny passed it back
Fatty took a rotten shot
and knocked the goalie flat.
3/ Where was the goalie
when the ball was in the net?
Half way up the goal post
with his trousers round his neck.
Read 6 tweets
13 Jun
In the 1950s and 60s, there was a small group of former teachers, inspectors, teacher trainers - probably no more than 20, possibly less, who made huge stacks of dosh writing text books year after year after year. Remember them?
R.J. Unstead
Read 7 tweets
26 Feb
Stained glass window smashed in church.
Suspicion turned to bishop.
Mitre done it.
it was a rood awakening.
Unless it was the nave.
Read 12 tweets
13 Jan
Here is 'main clause': 'I ate a bun.' If I put a) 'Happily', or b) 'In the morning' or c) 'When I got up' in front or before 'I ate a bun', it's a fronted adverbial. (a) is an adverb, b) is an adverbial phrase, c) is an adverbial clause.
1. Why has this feature of sentence structure been singled out for special mention? There is no answer to this question from grammarians. An 'adverbial' can come after a 'main clause'. Why not identify and name this? No answer.
2. My point is that this bit of terminology is random and even by its own rules is illogical. You can put words and phrases in front of main clauses that modify the 'subject' of the clause rather than the verb ie they're 'adjectival'.
Read 17 tweets

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