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Akiva Cohen Profile picture
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9 Jul, 4 tweets, 1 min read
I personally love that the theory of the case is "Congress passed a law clarifying that website owners would not face liability for speech they hosted by moderating content, one that applies to *whatever content the site owners choose,* b/c they wanted to censor"
Trump: Congress wanted censorship!
Court: Censorship of what?
Trump: Anything, really. They just like censorship.
Court: Right wing ideology?
Trump: Obviously
Court: Left wing ideology?
Trump: That too
Court: Cat videos?
Trump: Of course. More than anything else.
Congress's goal, obviously, was a content free internet.

Those devious bastards!
Also, and this is just a fun aside, this idiotic theory also directly contradicts his factually wrong statutory interpretation argument, that Congress "really" only meant immunity for "platforms" that don't moderate content, and just accidentally wrote the exact opposite

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More from @AkivaMCohen

Akiva Cohen Profile picture
7 Jul
OK, OK. Let's read that new Trump lawsuit*

*Yes, I know, he filed three of the same. One against FB, one against Twitter, and a third I haven't bothered to check. Unless someone tells me otherwise, I'm gonna assume they're carbon copies and just do the one.
Let's start with the caption, which is usually a pretty tame and meaningless listing of partie--OH MY GOD
There's just so much wrong here.

First of all, as others have noted, Facebook's terms of service require any user that has a dispute with them to bring those claims in California, and the only possible plaintiffs in this supposed class action would be users, so, umm ...
Read 122 tweets
Akiva Cohen Profile picture
7 Jul
I'll do a full breakdown later. Briefly, though ... check out the signature block on this clown show
That's two guys with "@aol.com" addresses for their professional email, a 13-lawyer firm that does personal injury work and insurance litigation, with lead counsel whose specialty is insurance claims and criminal defense (Matthew Baldwin), and a Greenwich CT firm whose named guys
have profiles highlighting their personal injury and wrongful death work.

The idea that *these* are the lawyers representing a former President of the United States in a (bullshit) First Amendment litigation is just laughable
Read 6 tweets
Akiva Cohen Profile picture
2 Jul
Ty, I'm wondering if you explained Rule 11 and NY"s malicious prosecution laws to your client. Because you just named a boatload of useless defendants who will do nothing but be dismissed out and have claims against your client.
Let's spend some time talking about the SLAPP suit suspended lolyer @Ty_Clevenger (well, he resigned his CA bar admission while charges were pending, anyway, per docs found by @questauthority) on behalf of his apparently rape-y client, @EdHenry
Important note before we begin: @EdHenry is not, in fact, Ed HELMS. These are, somehow, two different people. Similar names? Yeah. Do they look alike? Sort of. Is Slappy Ed Henry acting in ways an Ed Helms character might? You could say so. Are they the same guy? Definitively not
Read 63 tweets
Akiva Cohen Profile picture
28 Jun
For fuck's sake, the bill does nothing of the sort. Whatever the merits of the bill, it does nothing even within the same zip code as that. Screenshots to follow
Let's start with the kicker. The bill EXPRESSLY says "of course you can videotape, this isn't changing that"
And then here are the substantive sections - even without that "yes, you can record" paragraph, what part of the new language (the underlined stuff) could have covered that?
Read 6 tweets
Akiva Cohen Profile picture
25 Jun
#ChauvinSentencing, judge about to rule
Comments will be brief, will be issuing a written order, because this is a legal analysis.

Smart judge
Acknowledging the pain of the victim's family. I'm guessing that means he's not going to give a sentence at the top end of the range
Read 8 tweets
Akiva Cohen Profile picture
24 Jun
Rudy Giuliani, suspended (and likely soon disbarred former) attorney.

nycourts.gov/courts/ad1/cal…
Here's the TL;DR upfront: Rudy lied to courts, legislators, and the public, in his role as a lawyer.

Contrary to popular belief, lawyers are not actually allowed to do that
Rudy, right now
Read 56 tweets

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