I was once a teenage boy, and I have vague memories of being a relentless eating machine. But watching my teenage sons destroy my well-stocked fridge like locusts devastating a farmer's life's work, I feel as though I am watching something not born of this Earth, let alone to me.
I wish to replace the second use of "watching" with "bearing witness," please and thank you.
To, of course. "...bearing witness to..." Goddammit. Thank you.
Also, "being" should probably be "having been," although I'm not entirely sure. Because I don't know, I'm going to apply for a job at Burger King, so that I might end this terrible search.
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