Alt text: My Death by Tim Dlugos.
'when I no longer/feel it breathing down/my neck it's just around/the corner (hi neighbor)'
Dlugos was writing from the height of the AIDS epidemic, an epidemic that would claim his life in 1990, at the age of forty. This poem really seems to nail what I'm feeling so much these days: that sense of being hunted by forces beyond your control.
For like the two people who stick around for my poetry content, I appreciate you xoxo
At least I can take heart in the fact that even a tweet of mine with a single like got more viewers than GB News lmao
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So, let's recap: 1,200 scientists have signed a letter published in The Lancet, saying that the lifting of all restrictions on Monday is an 'unethical experiment' that encourages new covid variants.
Meanwhile, I and every other disabled person I know has been haunted by the fact that 60% of the UK's Covid deaths are disabled people. Just yesterday, it was reported that people with learning disabilities are eight times more likely to die from Covid than their peers.
What does the new government guidance recommend for disabled people to do? 'Avoid the indoors and the unvaccinated.' Just as we have been throughout the entire pandemic, disabled people are being ignored, while we make up a majority of the UK's covid deaths.
Can you imagine posting a trash take like this while 60% of the UK's Covid deaths are disabled people? Just say you care more about your holiday than disabled people's lives.
It's certainly been an...experience to find out just how many people value their trip to Spain more than my life
Can you imagine having the nerve to say that nondisabled people are being discriminated against in the pandemic, when disabled people make up a majority of Covid deaths, DNRs are still being issued, and we're being ignored in the vaccine rollout? Good lord
Ever since the news came out last week that a majority of Covid deaths in the UK are disabled people, I've been able to think of little else. Despite making up less than 15% of the population, disabled people make up 60% of the UK's Covid deaths.
I've been wondering why I've been so desolate, sluggish, and unable to concentrate. Watching eugenics become casually mainstream might have something to do with it.
Disabled people in the UK have been living with a certain amount of background terror for over a decade now thanks to Tory rule. But I've never seen so many people say, on national platforms, that my life is expendable as much as right now. It's incredibly hard to take.
How many disabled authors have won the Carnegie Medal, I hear you ask? Precisely one, as far as I can tell: Rosemary Sutcliff, in 1959. What makes it more enraging is plenty of nondisabled authors have won the award via their books about disabled characters. 🙃
Rosemary Sutcliff (1920 — 1992) wrote dozens of bestselling historical novels. Many of her books were set in Roman Britain. Her best known books now are The Eagle of the Ninth series and her retellings of the King Arthur legends.
I only found Sutcliff late last year. I tweeted about her, and a lot of people got in touch to let me know they loved her books as children, but didn't know she was disabled. I wondered why that is. My main theory of why this might be is...
Well, I finally sent my manuscript away today, which means I can put this wad of paper away in a drawer. I can honestly say I've done the very best I can at this very moment.
ID: A white hand holding a thick stack of paper.
I started working on the manuscript more intensely as the pandemic began, really to give myself something to wake up for, as all my work vanished. I can honestly say that I know why every full stop, comma and line break is exactly where it is.
Thank you to everyone who gave me notes on the poems - whether I took them on board or not, every note helped me know the poems better.
In case there was any doubt, DNR orders are still being imposed on disabled people. Someone just tweeted at me saying that 'it's hardly an immoral choice to make.' The fact that disabled deaths have been seen as acceptable or inevitable by so many is disgusting beyond words.