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Virginia Heffernan

22 Jul, 9 tweets, 2 min read

Soloing flexing guitar gods who claimed they invented the blues who college men have told me are great at tedious length

@Hannahgadsby

Because of their CUBISM

Cc @Hannahgadsby

Me at 20 brushing my long blond hair: Do I look alright

Him: listen to this LICK or RIFF

What IF the he-man artisto you loved was not that GOOD at riffs or licks or cubism but just hit the spot for you when you were trying for he-man vibes yourself & he was like the Sarah Maclachlan of men

But you had told yourself for so long that he was great and the cokey abuser flex was just par for the autonomous artist course — and no one had contradicted you or parodied your thing like everyone did with Sarah Maclachlan.

& you had to believe “keep Britain white” & “took sex with my wife by force & thought that was my entitlement” was an aberration from the soloing guitarist fantasy and THEN you were surprised that iconoclastic anti-vaxing as approved by Ted Cruz was part of the he-man package

Ask that question and then you’ll find the man and the work reunite and you don’t have to separate or redeem them & they can all be composted

This is my cultural decluttering trick

Thank you for coming to my KonMar show

I look alright don’t need you to tell me 💅

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I seriously wish Stanley Ann Dunham had written a mothering guide.

But then she wouldn’t have been Stanley Ann Dunham.

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16 Jul

The oppression continues

Gonna Karen out at this Dunkin’

What kind of America is this if I can’t get a bucket of iced coffee and a half-dozen glazed shirtless?

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10 Jul

I get the sense today that most Americans believe that all other Americans hate them.

Ever since the widespread disapproval of sex “out of wedlock,” I’ve never gone wrong assuming that most people think their crowd’s creeds and practices are right and mine and my crowd’s are misguided or even evil.