John Bull Profile picture
22 Jul, 6 tweets, 1 min read
I am on the most Teamsiest of Teams meetings ever.
This whole pandemic has been a real exercise in discovering which colleagues thought that getting cheap broadband was a good idea.
Oh cool. The point of the meeting where people act shocked at a thing happening that everyone was warned would happen if people didn't do the things required to avoid it in time.

And people didn't.
"is someone... angle grinding?!"

"oh sorry! that's outside my house. I'll mute."
I'm reasonably certain that one of the new circles of hell is people who do Teams meetings using inbuilt mics and no headphones.

The one beneath that is full of people doing the same, but with kids in the room.
Oh cool. We've decided that the thing everyone was shocked at not happening because people didn't do the things required to avoid it in time, wasn't actually necessary.

Because that's easier than mentally accepting shit done got fucked up.

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More from @garius

22 Jul
If you've never read the Vindolanda tablets, you need to.

They're a rare insight into everyday life on the Roman frontier in Britain.

Turns out it's mostly arguments about bar bills, and begging letters to mum back in Italy to PLEASE send some warm socks.

They're fascinating.
And they're fascinating precisely because (Latin aside) they could be letters from ANY bunch of soldiers stationed far from home, from any era.

Our image of Rome is shaped by Classics. The Vindolanda tablets blow that image apart.
They also contain exactly the same passive aggressive family drama you see on Facebook and elsewhere today.

"I'm writing to you, despite the fact that you've not written to me in months, because good brothers write to each other. And I am a good brother"

That kind of thing.
Read 4 tweets
20 Jul
Spend any time working in first-line IT support and you discover pretty quickly that about 30% of humanity is, and always has been, irredeemably unhinged.
Also, that this 30% isn't confined to any gender, class or socio-economic group. The unhingedness doesn't discriminate.

Doing first-line was the point I realised things like Star Trek could never be the future IRL. Because they presuppose a drift to rationality. Never happening
I'd say at any given time an additional 15% of humanity are completely open to being unhinged.

As long as it appears to deliver reasonable outcomes for themselves or family, or the thing people are being unhinged about seems popular.
Read 7 tweets
16 Jul
Sod it. Have a Friday history thread.

Let's talk about Simon. Ship's cat for HMS Amethyst. Survivor of the 1949 Yangtse Incident and the only cat ever to be awarded the Dickin Medal, the animal equivalent of the Victoria Cross. a very good tuxedo kitty. wearing his medal.
Simon was born on the streets of Hong Kong, most likely sometime in 1947. His early life was spent scavenging for food in the dockyards.

This was how he met 17 year old Ordinary Seaman George Hickinbottom of HMS Amethyst, when the ship stopped there to resupply in early 1948.
Hickinbottom was rather taken with the young malnourished tuxedo kitty, and decided that Amethyst's lack of a ship's cat needed addressing.

To avoid the possibility of disagreement with this plan, Simon was smuggled aboard under his tunic, past the watch.
Read 28 tweets
15 Jul
Boris Johnson's press conferences/committee appearances make a lot more sense once you accept that he will literally say whatever he thinks will get him out of the room quick enough.
There's no grand plan to the shite he spouts in front of a camera or committee.

His staff's sole goal with their briefing notes is to try and channel him into making as few promises, and spouting as little bollocks as possible, before he makes his hasty exit.
It's why he visibly reverts to grumpy eton schoolboy mode the moment a follow up question is asked.

He gave you his hopefully distracting answer already. HOW VERY DARE YOU make him have to try and think of another one, delaying his exit even longer.
Read 4 tweets
15 Jul
Me whenever I find someone has added a picture of their dog, instead of themselves, to their university staff profile.
Students don't pay £9k a year to be taught by your dog, and companies looking to invest in your research want to invest in you, not your dog.

Perfectly fine to have no photo at all. Lot's of valid reasons not to.

But no dogs, cats, fish, hamsters, funny doodles by your kid etc
Corollary: ALL Faculties should provide access to a drop-in photography session, once a year to get a nice headshot done.

It's not fair to make your staff do it at home/their office, in front of a plain wall.

ANY human photographed this way inevitably looks like a sex offender.
Read 4 tweets
14 Jul
Someone on this street is blasting out Bryan Adam's "Everything I Do" on continuous repeat.

I'm as yet unsure as to whether this is the best or worst thing ever.
Oh wait. It's that one he did with Sting and Rod Stewart from the Musketeer film now.

Also on repeat it seems.

I'm honestly not sure how to read this, emotionally.

It's now Bon Jovi, "Dead or Alive"

Which, to be fair, is a belter.
Read 19 tweets

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