Thread by @GabriellaCKelly

CW:Sterotypes/Alcoholism
A microaggression story that has stayed w me for 17 years. I was taking a higher Spanish class at the UofA. It was a hard class and my classmates & I formed study groups and practiced a lot. We were preparing for the midterm and we were stressed. 1/

I was friends w/a handsome classmate. I think he played volleyball. He was tall, blond, blue eyed & very smiley. I remember thinking he was funny. We were buds. We finished up a last minute cram study session & were waiting for the class to start. We were just reviewing notes. 2/

He thanked me for helping him & suggested we celebrate by going out for a drink after midterms. I have never liked the taste, smell or the way alcohol makes me feel. I told him I don’t drink, but I’d still go out for fun. “Do you not drink because your family are alcoholics?” 3/

It hit me like a kick to my stomach. My face instantly burned red. I felt my entire body react. As I looked at his smiling face I realized that he, my friend, someone I thought saw me as an individual, benefited from my intellect thought of me, my family as only drunk Indians. 4/

I stammered a response as I blinked back tears. He talked about hearing we were genetically prone or something & I argued that alcoholism is a disease that all races/ethnicities struggle w/. I flung, “You’re the one always partying!” as I sat there fighting back tears. 5/

Our conversation was interrupted by the professor walking in and our midterm starting. I sat struggling to remember verbos irregulares y el subjuntivo as I thought about alcoholism in the Native community and whether the science behind his claims were true and was everyone 6/

in my class thinking me, my family and everyone I know are alcoholics? Just because I’m Native? I quietly wiped away tears as I took the test. My whole body wanted to flee. I looked over at him and he was completely absorbed and focused on the task at hand. 7/

Yrs later when I learned what white privilege was I realized that we both took the same class, we studied the same, we were equally matched but only I was the one stuck with the emotional burden of his ignorance and the ignorance of the others who asked me similar questions. 8/

I know a lot of people who struggle with alcoholism across many races/ethnicities. I don’t judge anyone for this. My point is that the stereotype dominated the perception of the individual and assumptions about me, my family and community were made in a way that was hurtful. 9/

Even if the stereotype held true and my family suffered from alcoholism, in what world is that an appropriate thing to just casually ask a classmate? It really showed me that he didn’t see me as an individual with feelings, he saw me as a resource for information. 10/X