my favorite parallel universe job fantasy has me as an old timey sports reporter

what's yours?
(I am procrastinating so hard right now.)
Wait, I changed my mind. This is what I want. Right here.

But seriously, wouldn't that be great? Wear 30s/40s women's fashion and report on sports with old flashbulbs going off? I'll have a fascinator with a reporter card sticking out of it. 🥰

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More from @cmclymer

1 Aug
This news bit about Matt Damon only recently deciding to stop saying "faggot" after his daughter wrote him a "treatise" on it just makes me sad. Geez.
This is the kind of thing forces me to wonder how much homophobic and transphobic shit "progressive" white cis straight men say behind our backs, and that just really sucks.
"I'm glad he changed and that his daughter helped him change"

Yeah, I get the sentiment, but this is super 101 stuff. This is like 10+ years ago kinda stuff. And he knows better.

Sorry, it just doesn't make me feel very good.
Read 11 tweets
31 Jul
The Woodstock '99 documentary on HBO is very good and very sad.
Unexpectedly thoughtful. Like really drilled down into it on a philosophical level. Impressive.
Also, in an unintentionally funny scene, Moby is ranting because he's upset that his name isn't on the official Woodstock signage and he starts pointing out bands he's never heard with this incredulous tone. What a dick.
Read 7 tweets
28 Jul
I'll bet it's possible to offer praise for Liz Cheney's principled stance on the Jan. 6th attack and also ask why she hasn't shown any contrition or self-reflection for enabling (and directly benefitting from) Trump's nonsense for years, which led to the attack on Jan. 6th.
Liz Cheney played an enormous role in getting to this point, and when we simply let that go by refusing to acknowledge it, we're asking to be deceived down the line.
I don't wanna be a wet blanket. But it's astonishing to me how fast people go from "good on Liz Cheney for speaking up on this one thing" to "OMG, Liz Cheney is the Profile in Courage of our time".

Y'all really need to chill the fuck out on that. Honestly.
Read 4 tweets
26 Jul
Lord, I pray you give me the ass of J-Lo and the unearned confidence of Ben Affleck. Amen.
It's okay. Ben will not see this. Ben will be just fine. <3
Look, I like him! "Argo" is an okay flick. "Legally Blonde" is better. That's all.
Read 4 tweets
9 Jul
Oh wow... I'm watching the Scripps National Spelling Bee right now. Six kids left. One of the kids spelled the word wrong but the judges said it was right, so he sat down, and the judges are about to tell him they incorrectly approved his spelling. Whew.
That is brutal.
This is about to be a national story. Yikes.
Read 4 tweets
2 Jul
There are countless laws on the books around the country that are now considered frivolous and often funny and the powers that be would never humor enforcing them. Some of the many, many examples...
In Little Rock, Arkansas, it is illegal to "sound the horn on a vehicle at any place where cold drinks or sandwiches are served after 9:00 p.m." (Code 1961, § 25-74)
In Rehoboth Beach, DE, it's illegal to whisper during a church service or utter profanity within 300 feet of a place of worship. (§ 198-22)
Read 9 tweets

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