“There is a lot of stigma around being sexual and being disabled,” he said. “I didn’t really see the interaction between boyfriend and girlfriend as something I could have.” thetimes.co.uk/article/sex-on…
Thomas Williams, 30, is autistic, has cerebral palsy, uses a wheelchair and needs 24-hour care. As a teenager, his classmates dated girls and gossiped about celebrity crushes, but no one talked about sex around him.
In October 2019, Thomas was given £23 a week for sex therapy as part of his NHS Continuing Healthcare personal health budget. It is the only known example of such funding being granted by the NHS.
Williams had argued it was his right under the Human Rights Act - which protects the right to a personal life - to explore his sexuality. NHS assessors also recognised he had a medical need for the sessions as they reduced his pain, eased his anxiety and helped his muscles relax.
In September last year, Williams lost his virginity with a specially-trained sex “surrogate”, an experience he described as “liberating”. “Because it was funded by the state I could basically not have the shame of it not being an unsafe or outlawed practice,” he said.
Thomas is telling his story after the funding was removed in April. it had been decided it was not “an appropriate use of taxpayers’ funds” to continue paying for the sessions.
The NHS opened up a political can of worms by awarding me funding and they wanted to shut it quickly,” he said. “But they have already set a precedent.”
He is one of thousands of disabled people who feel excluded by society when it comes to sex and romance. According to the charity Scope, only 5% of people who are not disabled have ever dated a disabled person.
The first step was contacting Sue Newsome, 60, a sex therapist and “facilitator”. At first he was anxious and shy, but after six sessions of asking awkward questions, establishing boundaries and getting to know one another, he felt comfortable enough to undress.
They later explored self-pleasure, with Newsome supporting him to use specialist sex toys. In 2018, she referred him to a “sexological bodyworker”, a practitioner who focusses on mutual touch.
He intends to appeal the NHS decision to withdraw funding. “The money in itself isn’t what makes it legitimate. But funding it as a medical need allowed me to see it in the same way as I would a surgical procedure or a tablet,” he said. “It’s a medical need and a necessity.”
Read the full story: thetimes.co.uk/article/sex-on…
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