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Tom Holland

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27 Aug, 10 tweets, 2 min read

To a walled garden in Wiltshire!

I beg your pardon, I never promised you a walled garden

@AuthorsCC

At Erlestoke walled garden, @AuthorsCC have won the toss, & are batting.

Father & son combo @James1940 & Ned Holland to open.

@AuthorsCC

At lunch, @AuthorsCC are 158/4. Judging by the array of drinks on offer, I suspect we shall soon be 165 all out.

My innings does not go entirely as well as I might have hoped.

My record so far this August: no runs, no wickets.

☹️☹️☹️

I really hate cricket.

I GET A WICKET!!!!!!!

I love cricket

Mind you, chasing 220, The Further Friars XI are 160/3, so my love is not 100% undiluted.

We lose by 5 wickets.

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More from @holland_tom

Tom Holland

@holland_tom

9 Sep

@V_and_A

To @V_and_A, there to visit its show on Epic Iran with - who else? - @aa51_ansari

5,000 years old, & eerie as hell: the cap with ibex horns & the wings of the bird of prey draped over his shoulders hint at a being who is himself part animal & bird #EpicIran

Three absolute babes from mid-2nd century BC Susa #EpicIran

Read 12 tweets

Tom Holland

@holland_tom

9 Sep

https://twitter.com/Softfrozen/status/1435772375694512131?s=20

Thank you! After the demoralising match I had on Tuesday, this is the kind of reassurance that really gives me a filip, and makes me think that perhaps I shouldn't retire after all.

https://twitter.com/Softfrozen/status/1435772375694512131?s=20

@Hoggy602

A lovely man stops me in the street, reminds me that @Hoggy602 was, after all, a Test bowler, & reassures me that I do look very good in whites.

Have now definitely decided not to retire.

https://twitter.com/dcsandbrook/status/1435898334120656896?s=20

It is absolutely true, and should the lovely man on the bicycle who stopped me outside the British Museum read this, I very much hope that he will confirm it.

https://twitter.com/dcsandbrook/status/1435898334120656896?s=20

Read 4 tweets

Tom Holland

@holland_tom

7 Sep

I hate cricket

I literally never want to talk about what happened, and am going to pretend it never did.

Henceforward am going to focus on something I’m good at - bowls, perhaps, or golf

Read 5 tweets

Tom Holland

@holland_tom

5 Sep

Being a Hameed fan is so stressful

HUGE cheers as he gets off the mark

Daring to hope

Read 4 tweets

Tom Holland

@holland_tom

31 Aug

“The dull, oxidised gray of slaughtered meat left out too long.”

Shalom Auslander’s description of the Hudson River in Mother For Dinner, his novel about the once proud & thriving ethnic group, Cannibal-Americans

“The Judaic concept of an Asshole God fit his generally negative view of the universe.” #MotherForDinner

I finish Mother For Dinner, definitely the best novel about a family of cannibals in Brooklyn I’ve ever read. In fact, I can best praise it as almost on a par with Hope, Auslander’s sensationally bad taste novel about a New Englander finding Anne Frank in his attic.

Read 4 tweets

Tom Holland

@holland_tom

30 Aug

Massive SPORT, as I head off to play GOLF!!!!

I kick off with an immaculate on-drive

My next shot, however, is perfect. Who knew golf was so easy?

Read 7 tweets

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