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30 Aug, 7 tweets, 1 min read
Massive SPORT, as I head off to play GOLF!!!!
I kick off with an immaculate on-drive
My next shot, however, is perfect. Who knew golf was so easy?
Oh
3 over par #Elite
Grrrrr Image
I think I’m going to stick to a sport I’m good at, like cricket

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More from @holland_tom

Tom Holland Profile picture
9 Sep
To @V_and_A, there to visit its show on Epic Iran with - who else? - @aa51_ansari
5,000 years old, & eerie as hell: the cap with ibex horns & the wings of the bird of prey draped over his shoulders hint at a being who is himself part animal & bird #EpicIran
Three absolute babes from mid-2nd century BC Susa #EpicIran
Read 12 tweets
Tom Holland Profile picture
9 Sep
Thank you! After the demoralising match I had on Tuesday, this is the kind of reassurance that really gives me a filip, and makes me think that perhaps I shouldn't retire after all.
A lovely man stops me in the street, reminds me that @Hoggy602 was, after all, a Test bowler, & reassures me that I do look very good in whites.

Have now definitely decided not to retire.
It is absolutely true, and should the lovely man on the bicycle who stopped me outside the British Museum read this, I very much hope that he will confirm it.
Read 4 tweets
Tom Holland Profile picture
7 Sep
I hate cricket
I literally never want to talk about what happened, and am going to pretend it never did.
Henceforward am going to focus on something I’m good at - bowls, perhaps, or golf
Read 5 tweets
Tom Holland Profile picture
5 Sep
Being a Hameed fan is so stressful
HUGE cheers as he gets off the mark
Daring to hope
Read 4 tweets
Tom Holland Profile picture
31 Aug
“The dull, oxidised gray of slaughtered meat left out too long.”

Shalom Auslander’s description of the Hudson River in Mother For Dinner, his novel about the once proud & thriving ethnic group, Cannibal-Americans
“The Judaic concept of an Asshole God fit his generally negative view of the universe.” #MotherForDinner
I finish Mother For Dinner, definitely the best novel about a family of cannibals in Brooklyn I’ve ever read. In fact, I can best praise it as almost on a par with Hope, Auslander’s sensationally bad taste novel about a New Englander finding Anne Frank in his attic.
Read 4 tweets
Tom Holland Profile picture
27 Aug
To a walled garden in Wiltshire!
I beg your pardon, I never promised you a walled garden
At Erlestoke walled garden, @AuthorsCC have won the toss, & are batting.

Father & son combo @James1940 & Ned Holland to open.
Read 10 tweets

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